the working parent is spoiled with a SAHM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
the working parent is spoiled with a SAHM?
54
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 10:37am

some people associate SAH as this spoiled opportunity with feet kicked up all day because s/he doesn't have to work but to reverse that, friend and me were talking (a she and i exchange) and the subject of chores, who plans most dinners and things like that were brought up.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 1:24pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 1:52pm
vacation spoils me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 3:01pm
It is very nice, imo, to have one parent at home. DH was home this summer, and it was really nice from a kid wrangling standpoint. It was really nice to just get myself ready and out the door, instead of having to get myself and two kids out the door. DH also did almost all of the cooking this summer. It was wonderful to come home to dinner on the table. It also gave me the flexibility to take two 6 week courses over the summer. I still did a lot of the cleaning around the house, so I imagine it would be even better if I hadn't had to do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 4:37pm

I think it is possible for any partner to be spoiled no matter what their working status.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 6:32pm

you're lucky that your job is flexible in that you can swing it and take classes, good for you AND your DH who picks up the slack there.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 10:56am

I saw a study recently that showed that, on average, men are doing more housework/child care than they were five years ago, and significantly more than they were ten years ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 11:09am
When I was a SAHM I had no issue with doing most of the housework. Childcare was different when we were both in the house we were equal parents. It does not make a difference to the toilet if I am the only one cleaning it. It does make a difference to a child if the mother is the only one providing its care. I do not see a father who comes home from work and caring for their children to be spoiling their spouse. I see them as bonding with their children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 11:48am

I agree!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 5:59pm
I don't kow if spoiled is the right term. As a sahm, I've been responsible for the majority of the "home management". That was our *arrangement*, so to speak. Dh has always worked very long hours and/or had a long commute, and my being home, taking care of home and child related things, meant that he had a little more flexibility.

One of the things that we discussed, when I went back to work, was the fact that I couldn't continue to do it all, and woh too. B/c I work locally, and have a more family friendly job, I still take on more of the household duties, and the scheduling of appointments and such....but it's hust as likely to end up on dh's day off as it is mine.

Dh now cooks dinner at least once a week, sometimes two. And it's really nice now that I have teens, who each have a day that they are responsible for dinner!

Laundry is the chore that seems to have suffered the most. We just haven't been able to get a good working schedule. Of course, that likely has more to do with it being summer, and my family's busy schedule than work status, lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 6:01pm
I agree, spoiling is more about the people involved, and the attitude than it is about work status.

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