Would you allow your children....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Would you allow your children....
8
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 11:24pm
To post pictures of themselves or offer intimate details about their lives online? Some of the post inquries lately have been pretty personal and several posters here have offered links to their websites that offer pics of their kids.

Would you want your kids to post their pictures on a public bulletin board? Would you want your husbands to discuss their *firsts* on a public forum?

Do you consider the posters on this board people you can offer intimate details of your life to? Do you even realize how many people you don't even know lurk here?

It absolutely astounds me how much personal information and even photos are offered here for all to read and view.

So my question is, would you allow your kids to offer the information that you do here to their online friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 6:56am
"So my question is, would you allow your kids to offer the information that you do here to their online friends?'

Since I have never given out any personal info (except on an anonymous poll) I have no problem with them doing the same. I do not post any sites with my children on them, I have never mentioned names. I have never even mentioned exactly what my job is.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 7:09am
You have a good point. I shouldn't offer my website on-line. I never mention my last name, and I don't often mention my kids' and DH's names, but I think in the future, I'll post even less personal info. No, I wouldn't let my kids do that, so I shouldn't be doing it either. I have met some wonderful people through these boards, and they know a lot more about me than other posters.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:16am
I don't think I'd have a problem with it. It would depend on the forum, and what types of information they were posting.

I've had a family website up for about five years now. I didn't post it out of ignorance, and I'm not going to take it down out of fear.

The guy who sits next to me at work is just as likely to be a stalker as someone who reads something I post on the internet. More likely, statistally speaking. So no, I don't think it's a big deal. Someone could get more information about me out of a phonebook or off a dropped credit card receipt than they can off of my website.

Avatar for cl_annieb67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:35am
No, and honestly, I'd throw a head fit if they did.


I don't have a problem with websites, that is only pictures, and the details of where I live are very vague. Frankly, I'm also to dang far in the boonies to worry.

But on their IM's, I make sure they give no details out in their profiles. I actually stay away from questions that ask for intimate details. But don't tell...it's actually just a front to compensate for the fact I don't remember yesterday, let alone the first time I had sex. ;O)

"There in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I close my eyes, feel their beauty and follow where they lead."

Avatar for cl_annieb67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:44am
That's a good point. It would depend on the 'company' they were with. And, a lot of it would depend on the child also. Holliann once got in a conversation on a game site, and the guy managed to gather quite a bit of information from her. And, he gave her his cell phone number.

But Cindy has enough common sense , and I'm quite sure she would be smart about it.

"There in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I close my eyes, feel their beauty and follow where they lead."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:59am
I had to LOL when I read the first line of your post and right next to it was your picture and a link to your profile, which included the names of all your kids. You also link to a webpage that again gives first names of you, your dh and your kids and a geographic region. Unless you are living as a hermit (no phone, no property etc), I suspect I could easily find you based on the info you have given, if I wanted to. There is so much info available through public records these days and much of it is on the net.

I do understand your point. My dd does IM and I have warned her about the danger of putting detail into her directory listing. It's pretty hard to stay completely anonymous on these boards, given that most of us talk about ourselves a lot. I few years ago there was at least one case I know of where a PP member was stalked and harassed by another member and was able to locate teh member based on the info she had given in posts.

I don't have a website or post pics, but I'm not sure that would really matter anyway, given the amount of info out there about all of us.

Susan

Avatar for cl_annieb67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 9:54am
Yeah, I thought about that and posted to TM above. The key for me, is I do feel safe here. Heck, most of my friends are on this board, LOL! I actually WISH some of them would come find me. :O)

I'm just not sure my kids have the good judgement to not let too much info out.

"There in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I close my eyes, feel their beauty and follow where they lead."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 11:31am
If you've ever noticed, I don't post photos, and my first name has only slipped out once, quite a while back. I have no profile, and I don't participate in roll calls. My username is alphanumeric so that it will not get caught in dragnets used by spammers. People who have been paying attention might know my city, but it's a big city, so that's relatively safe, seeing as how it isn't connected to any names. If someone wanted to track me down by saving every message I ever posted and attempting to identify me by matching up details of how many children, how many siblings, professions of myself and my spouse, etc., they might be able to narrow it down fairly well, so I lie about those things occasionally to muddy the waters. If someone REALLY wanted to track me down by hacking into the membership registration info, they might track me back to the IP address I use, but that's a firewall address; a direct hack on it will alert security all over the place. I use sweeper software to clean cookies and search histories off my PC several times a day, so even my DH does not know where this board is. (He could probably guess if he wanted to think about it, but he doesn't care to, and he's not web-savvy.)

So what will I tell DS about this sort of thing? Until he is old enough to understand how to really cover his tracks, I will suggest he lie like a rug in online discussions, inconsistantly and all over the place. No real names, ever, and never any personal contact with anyone encountered online.

It always kind of amuses me when I hear provocative posters being hammered about inconsistencies in the details of their various posts. Any time I see a poster being inconsistent, I assume that they are doing it on purpose, for the same reason that I do.