Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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I can't really express how I want to say this, so I don't know if you'll really get my meaning ...
Hollie
WOW!!! I haven't read through all the responses to this statement yet, only a few, but this is a pretty harsh thing to say, IMO. I think basically when it comes to marriage, there are 2 different views (and yes, I'm sure there are some in between.) There are some people who think marriage is everything, meaning the moment you're married, there's a certain type of *higher* commitment there. Then there are the people who may think marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, meaning that the commitment should be there whether or not you're married. The marriage has nothing to do w/ the commitment. I'm one of those people. My SO & I have been together for 4 1/2 yrs. & although we're not married, we live a married life, meaning nothing would change once we got married. I don't feel our relationship is less significant just b/c we're not married. If anything, the marriages that some of my friends have are insignificant. They cheat left & right, could care less about their spouse, etc. I even had a friend of mine who's married & who cheats on his wife ALL THE TIME say to me, "Wow, you sure are faithful for someone who's not even married!" I just ignored that ridiculous statement. I really do get tired of people not taking our relationship seriously just b/c we're not married, but I know that there are people who think it's all about the piece of paper & that piece of paper changes everything. I know that if something ever happened to him, hell yeah, I'd be by his side every step of the way. Just b/c we're not married, it would be okay for me to want to deal w/ his hardships?? No way! I know if something were ever to happen to me & he said, "We're not married, so I have no obligation to be by your side, so I'm leaving you.", I think I'd hate him for the rest of my life!!
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
You don't see an "out" option in marriage? Isn't that what divorce is for? Why should divorce only be used in limited circumstances? What are those limited circumstances? So, there are circumstances that if you're not married, it's ok to break up, but if you are married, it's not okay to get a divorce??
Like I said in a post above, I just want more for my children than that. There is always a chance of divorce, you never know what can happen, but I would want them to at least be going into it with the experience, education, and emotional reasoning to have a decent chance. I wouldnt want them going into marriage, which already has high odds of not lasting, with ALL the odds stacked against them.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
While I love to travel abroad I have a neighbor who could go at the drop of a hat and spend all of spring in Paris. She has never been, has no desire to go, even thinks that going just to be going because she can would be a valid waste of money for her. She'd rather use that money for something she does really want.
Is she mediocre because she doesn't want to travel abroad? I don't think so at all!
I have a friend who is happy in her little cottage out on the farm but that isn't what would make me happy. Does that mean she is "settling" for less? No. It isn't less for her and her wants and needs in life.
S.V.
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