Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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The summer I was 18 I watched my parents marriage crumble due to untreated depression. . .my mother's condition spiraled and I cared for her and my younger brother while working a full time job.
What I'm arguing is the other side of the self-fulfilling prophecy you keep throwing up at me WRT my seeing marrying early as a valid choice. If you see your 18 year old as immature and incapable of caring for themselves. . .why should they even try to take responsibility for themselves?
To me that's NOT the same thing as having no idea who you are at 18 or until 30.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Again, my dh and I didn't plan to marry at 21 and 18. . .but did move up the plan due to our unexpected pregnancy. Preceeding the conception, he was having trouble at home and he did leave home. I gave him someplace to stay, thinking he'd head back home. He didn't. . .we found out I was pregnant and due to the pregnancy we did decide to move up the marriage.
You could make a stronger case for my husband trying to escape his home of origin, except that he didn't marry me to get out of that situation. . .
I think getting married "can" be hard, "can" be unwise, but I don't think that is universal. It is a valid choice for an 18 yo and I've watched my mother do it and I've done it and no, I can't think of a reason from personal experiences of my own, my mother, siblings, granny to advise my daughter against it. I just want her to be sure she is ready, sure she loves the man, sure she is ready for the step. You have to be a mature 18, which I was.
I don't think I can tell my dd not to do something when she sees it working in our home, in familiess around us.
S.V.
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