Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
And as such, it is a valid choice in that it isn't illegal, immoral, or unethical.
It may not be what you OR I want. . .but it isn't about what *I* want.
My mother didn't want me to marry my husband for a number of reasons. . .and she's spent 13 years making our lives miserable over it. . .and in the process making maintaining a relationship with her VERY hard. . .but for the sake of my kids I continue to try.
THAT experience colors my perceptions. . .*I* won't try to talk my kids out of it. . hopefully they'll be aware enough to realize before making the decisions what the implications are of their decisions, but if not. . .I'll not make the decisions any harder for them.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Many would say that the choice dh and I make to stay in the military isn't 'fair' to the kids. . .but it is still a valid choice.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Interestingly enough. . .She remarried the summer before I married. . .she divorced him within 4 years and now is on husband #3. . .and she's 53.
*I* am more emotionally mature than she is. . .and she's MY mother.
I don't need reading courses to understand how down you are on those of us who choose to marry at 18 even when we can actually sit here 10, 15 years later and tell you that there are cases (I'm living it) where we are very happy and we are not struggling (marital wise or financial wise).
What is your problem? Are you down on those who actually (gasp!) choose not to go to college? Yes, it was a choice not to go. Not because I married at 18. Not because I had children (didn't until I was over 30). Not because of finance (my parent's were going to pay for it in full even if I were married, they offered over & over, I declined. But my husband, who was 19 when we married, is a college grad).
Is it so hard to believe women can marry at such a young age and have it "all" in life?
Edited 9/16/2003 12:26:02 AM ET by gardenandhome
Edited 9/16/2003 12:38:42 AM ET by gardenandhome
We cannot help it if someone thinks that marrying at 18 is wrong. It works for us.
Some people just get their panties in a wad over stuff.
S.V.
I am down on the notion of talking it up like its a good choice for an 18yo. Not where I live, not for my children.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
S.V.
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