Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:24am
They've reached a time in their life when they're ready, established a career, finished their educations, built up a savings account, are financially stable, know how to live independentely, are in love, want to have children..
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:25am
Yeah, but Love don't pay the rent honey...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:27am
With one life available to any person, guarantees are no place to be focusing. There is no guarantee that by being a non-smoker, I'll avoid lung cancer. Lack of guarantee is no justification for ignoring the probability.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:30am
"You do realize that middle to upper class marry at 18 and have loving, successful, long-lasting marriages, don't you?"

Hardly any. Most upper class children go to college, they do NOT get out of high school and marry the first guy or girl who comes along. Please, that isn't even nearly a little bit true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:34am
"hmmmm...I could have supported my family at 18, and I DID have job experience. I had been working FT since I was 16 years old. Would we have lived the way we live today? Nope, but we would have survived, and would not have lived in poverty or on state assistance."

Really? I'm wondering just what kind of job a (maybe) high school graduate (you worked F/T since you were 16, did you graduate from high school?), can get that would allow them to support a family?

And even if you could get one, don't you want your children to do more than "survive"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:37am
"Sure having one person to take care of instead of 2 makes it harder to be above the poverty line. I'm not stupid. But, as okmrs said, if she hadn't gotten married she wouldn't have gone to college anyway. She wouldn't have had what she does now. So her marrying actually INCREASED her standard of living and income."

What do you mean she wouldn't have had what she does now? Are you saying that if she hadn't married her husband, she would NEVER have met anyone else? Were her options that limited? That doesn't say much for mrsmommy or anyone else chomping at the bit to marry the first guy that asks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:39am
RIGHT?????
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:40am
Oh please. Yeah, that's just great, let's advocate having all those pregnancies out of the way by 20. Wonderful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:44am
I would be talking my kids out of it, just as I would any action that I see as potentially harmful to their overall well being and quality of life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-16-2003 - 9:45am
Oh boy ....

<>

Abortion (which results in the loss of life and a lifetime of sad memories and regret on the part of the mother ... especially if the child is WANTED just not planned) over a shotgun wedding (which can result in a lifetime of happiness for all involved)? You'e got to be kidding.

<>

However, in the case here, the mother WASN'T a teen.

I think I'll drop this portion for now .. before I let loose and violate TOS.

Hollie

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