Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 5:50pm
Did it occur to you that the 25% without degrees have lived here for years, before the town became an affluent suburb catering to successful former New Yorkers and people for whom education is a priority? I guess not.

This town wasn't always an expensive manhattan bedroom community. It was once a rural, sleepy little town where real estate could've been purchased for a song. I imagine there are many, many residents who have lived here for many years, before it took a lot of success to purchase property here. I'm sure those are the residents who make up the bulk of that 25%.

Most students who go away to college don't come back. It's a small town, kids like to go out to the cities for the most part. If they do come back it's when they are ready to start a family. Why the assumption that people don't move away? Most younger (under 50) people in town are not natives. Everyone I know in my age group moved here from elsewhere, most from Manhattan.

But I'm sure you'll disagree with me, it's the fashionable thing to do. Have fun.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 5:56pm
She never said she lived in your *town*.

You said that 99% or more of the graduating class in your high school went to college - no qualifiers.

I think it's a bit...odd...to call someone a liar simply because you interpreted her words in a certain way, while at the same time claiming you were telling the truth when your words didn't leave any room open for interpretation.


Edited 9/7/2003 5:58:09 PM ET by taylormomma

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 5:57pm
First of all I never said I lived in your TOWN. I said I lived where you lived, southern CT. You ought to try reading the reports I cited. The report said that over the last 10 years between 88-98% went onto college, while between 2 and 12% were either employed or joined the military each year. Are you saying that all of thise kids are special ed kids and were able to get jobs, but unable to go to college? HOw do you know that? Are you saying that not one kid, not one, in the last ten years, joined the military? HOw can you possibly know that?

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:01pm
She said she lived where I live, and went to high school where I live. What does that mean to you? Left to your interpretation, she could've meant the entire United States.

Like I said, a higher % goes on to college than anywhere else, so a person can hardly base their opinion of whether I'm full of it on the fact that the percentage is different in THEIR town. In fact, if I have time, I'll look at Trumbull and see if I can find out their percentages to show just how very different the educational climate is there.

I guess that's a statistic Susan didn't want to take the time to look up. Big surprise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:01pm
Au contraire, ma'am. I lived in southern CT from 1969-75, and moved back again in 1979. I lived there til 1986, but most of my family still resides in the area. Weston and Westport were always affluent towns.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:05pm
BTW, have you noticed the trend, as years go by, the percentage goes up. What does that tell you?

Yeah Susan, maybe a couple of kids enlisted in the military from my town. That doesn't mean that my children, who are academically inclined, very bright, and who assume are heading for college, are going to buck all the odds and enlist.

The chances are very, very low.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:07pm
Oh come on, nothing like they are now, especially Weston. Westport was always pricey, but not Weston. You should know that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:10pm
Yep, I did go to HS in the area. The teams from my HS used to play the teams from yours. I never said I went to your HS. Lots of kids from different high schools knew each other, worked together, competed against each other etc.

I recognize that the statistic goes up each year. So what? I never said it didn't. YOu said NO ONE from your HS ever went on to the military. That's just plain not true.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:13pm
I'm only talking about facts. The facts are that you made a claim that is not true. If I wanted to get down and dirty, I would post what the reputation was of the kids who went your HS. But I won't because I never witnessed any of it myself.

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 6:17pm
I still see no proof that anyone ever enlisted in the military. Perhaps you could dig that up for me? I believe the minute remainder of non college bound graduates was lumped into "employement or military". That doesn't necessarily mean anyone actually went to the military, it could just be the catagory they lumped them into. Maybe they went to Europe?

Anyhow, Trumbull played Weston? Weston h.s is tiny, how did we play your teams? Has Trumbull recently burgeoned in size? What's the population of Trumbull? I'm not quite sure how the teams could have been in the same conference, but if you say so, I'm not going to argue with you. I wasn't in the area at that time.

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