Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 10:02pm
ummm...just because none of his FRIENDS went to the military doesn't mean no one in the community went into the military. I mean, how big is a Highschoolers group of friends anyway? Out of my group of friends (about 10 of us), there were exactly TWO people who went into the military. One directly out of highschool, and one after he dropped out of MIT in his second semester (fully paid for by scholarships, BTW). However, there were many people who joined the military from my graduating class who I did not know, or who I just didn't know them well enough to know their post-HS plans.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-07-2003 - 10:09pm
In my basic training flight out of 50 I think that at most half were straight out of high school. We had ages all the way up to 32. Some single parents and some that were married.

In my tech school class there were 8 of us, only 1 who joined directly out of high school.


Edited 9/7/2003 10:10:22 PM ET by texigan

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 6:34am
Sure. My parents couldn't pay for college, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be here. Let's face it, if we ever worked out what kids cost, the human race would die out because hardly anybody can afford their kids. The ability to pay for college didn't influence our decision about whether to have kids, but it did influence our decision about whether I would WOH, and FT or PT. There are lots of ways to pay for college, so mom WOH isn't the only way. I want my boys to be able to go to college withut having to borrow a lot and/or work a lot of hours. I did both, in collge and law school, and in retrospect I feel like I missed out on some of the academic expereince, not to mention fun stuff like spring break, because I had to work so much. Student loans are a great tool, but it's tough to start out in life with that ten year debt. I encourge my guys to work so they understand the value and discipline of work, but I don't want them to have to struggle like their dad and I did.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 7:48am
I personally am rather proud to admit that the military recruiters were almost a permanent fixture in our high school - rather proud that there are people brave enough to enlist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 9:21am
Color me impressed. I can add that to the other adjectives your posts elicit.

You really are something special.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 9:24am
No, it is definitely not unique to my town. What is unique to my town is the extraordinary high percentage of students who go on to college. Just about all of them.

I'm still waiting for the statistical geniuses to come up with a town with greater percentages.

It's going to be a very long wait.

Avatar for karenester
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 10:02am
OT, but you don't have to get "cut open" to have your tubes tied. I had a tubal after my last child, and it ius an outpatient day surgery, with only a small hole through your naval. I'd never had a Cesarian, and I don't have a scar at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 11:06am
Yep, similar to my brother. Very academically inclined (4.0 throughout high school, all AP classes). He suddenly rebelled his senior year, refused to consider college, and now (many moons later) has an art degree, is a working artist and a yoga instructor!

And yes, ALL his friends pretty much went to college, ALL of them are from very high SES families. Sometimes kids are gonna do what THEY want, no matter what other factors there are.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 1:14pm
It woudl be relevant to parentig skills because it would enable the parents to inform the children of what other religions are out there, therefore it will not be such a shock to the child when their friend at school is of a different religion or doesn't have one at all.

Maybe I should've named the class differently. Maybe I should've called it

"Differences of the World".

That way it would cover different religions, races, cultures, etc.

Doe sthat name work better for you? Did I answer your question?

Tonya
Avatar for karenester
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 1:32pm
do you really think that without a class, parents won't teach kids that there are differences in life? are we really all that ignorant?

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