Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 5:40am
Just b/c someone gives you advice, and teaches you a bunch of stuff doesn't mean your going to do it when you become a parent..

What happens the parents meet all the standards.. PASSES the tests, etc.. but are dumb and stupid and they do the things that "you" started these corses for????

Hmm??

What your going to take the kids away, (say 5 or 6 yrs old) VERY impressionable age, very easily to tear that child to pieces should you take them from their parents..

OH BOY< I can imagine the pain a child would have after something like that..

That's cruel..

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 6:43am
<<>>

Um, Yes you did!!!

read your own posts once in awhile

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 7:21am
<<>>

Yes, I highly recommend blackmail.. You know that is a punishable crime???

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 7:26am
<<>>

I guess you need to look up the definition of "unconditional"...

TwinsMom

ps. it's not a slam.. It's true. you can't have both. Either you Love them Unconditionally or you don't. Which is it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 7:29am
<<>>

You know, I really dislike blackmail and all it teaches to our kids.. Which is why I would choose to have THEM EARN IT! No arguements, no estrangements, no resentment for w/h money.. Money is theirs to make and spend it the way they see fit, and IF I raised my child to my expectations, they would choose to pay their own way anyway.

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 7:32am
<<>>

Then why are you setting it up for your children to treat you the same as your brother treats your parents?? What kind of sense does that make??? Honestly..

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 7:56am
<<

Some people have kids just because they can and don't know squat about having a family. I think the courses shoudl include:

Budgeting, Financing, Economics, Accounting, Discipline Methods, Parenting, Childbirth, Breastfeeding, Anger Management, Health Education, Sociology, Psychology, Learn Technical Skills to be able to work, College Prep courses just in case they are deciding to go to college, Banking, Business Management, Administrative skills, Self Defense, Laws of Society, Marriage, Religions, etc.

All the above relate to what a parent has to know when having children, getting married and some without having children or even getting married. I may have left out some>>>

Hmmm.. Sure sounds like what you said.. Maybe if you stopped and thought about it, you put your foot in your mouth and your waffleing now.

Just admit you said something wrong, and let's be done with it. eh?

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 8:02am
<<< Of course you will always have bigots who, no matter what, feel that if people don't believe what they believe then they are stupid, ignorant or wrong. >>>>

Hello Kettle, I am black....

Reap what you sow..

Man you are some treasure I tellya that lately??

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 8:18am
"Your "assuredness" really astounds me."

Does it? Have you never met anyone with extreme self confidence before?

"My parents didn't make it afactor, however, by the time both my brother and I got to "college".. My dad tried to force my brother to go.. Yeah Right, I want to see you do it better then him."

I won't have to "force" my children to go to college. They want to go. I have no doubt I could do it better than him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 8:26am
My kids aren't stupid enough to get married at 18. I don't raise dummies. My son is 14, so I don't really have to wait that long to figure out the direction he's heading. He's a great, intelligent, responsible kid, and he's no fool, that much I'm sure of.

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