Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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2. Would you advise your children to get married at 18, or will you advise them that it's best to wait awhile longer? I've already given information about my situation and the strain marrying early put on their father and I. Beyond that I will trust that I've taught my children the requisite skills to make good informed decisions for themselves. . .and will not 'advise' one way of the other.
3. Would it disappoint you if your children married at 18 rather than pursued their educations? Disappoint? No. It isn't about me. . .it's THEIR life. Would I be concerned? Sure. Just like I'm concerned about all my children as they embark upon a new phase of their life.
My oldest has ADD had has just started middle school. Due to her ADD, temperament, and organization skills, she may have a more difficult time than others in making the transition from elementary to middle school. Will I be disappointed if she doesn't make that transition smoothly. . .no, concerned, but not disappointed.
TwinsMom
I've never hidden that here and I haven't hidden it from my children.
Despite the fact that I was pregnant, we considered waiting. . .but decided we were committed to each other . . .and making it 'legal' had definite advantages with regards to military benefits.
Extortion! Good one!
Edited 9/9/2003 10:03:14 AM ET by islimshady
ex·tor·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (k-stôrshn)
n.
The act or an instance of extorting.
Illegal use of one's official position or powers to obtain property, funds, or patronage.
An excessive or exorbitant charge.
Something extorted.
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ex·tortion·ary (-sh-nr) adj.
ex·tortion·ist or ex·tortion·er n.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
extortion
( P ) extortion: log in for this definition of extortion and other entries in Merriam-Webster Dictionary of Law, available only to Dictionary.com Premium members.
Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
extortion
\Ex*tor"tion\, n. 1. The act of extorting; the act or practice of wresting anything from a person by force, by threats, or by any undue exercise of power; undue exaction; overcharge.
2. (Law) The offense committed by an officer who corruptly claims and takes, as his fee, money, or other thing of value, that is not due, or more than is due, or before it is due. --Abbott.
3. That which is extorted or exacted by force.
Syn: Oppression; rapacity; exaction; overcharge.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.
extortion
n 1: an exorbitant charge 2: unjust exaction (as by the misuse of authority): "the extortion by dishonest officials of fees for performing their sworn duty" 3: the felonious act of extorting money (as by threats of violence)
Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University
BlackMail
\Black"mail`\, n. 1. A certain rate of money, corn, cattle, or other thing, anciently paid, in the north of England and south of Scotland, to certain men who were allied to robbers, or moss troopers, to be by them protected from pillage. --Sir W. Scott.
2. Payment of money exacted by means of intimidation; also, extortion of money from a person by threats of public accusation, exposure, or censure.
3. (Eng. Law) Black rent, or rent paid in corn, flesh, or the lowest coin, a opposed to ``white rent'', which paid in silver
In your case your illiciting specific behavior from your child. And the price is his constitutional right.
I don't care what terms you put it in. If it's a 'sheep' then it's a 'sheep'
TwinsMom
Yes, I want them to have a good life. . .but life includes stresses. . .some lives more than others. . .but there is no such thing as an unstressed life.
I'll give them information on the stress we've faced and the impact of that stress. . .but ultimately it is a decision they have to make.
I also feel that disappointment would only come between myself and my child. . .at a time when they may need all the support they can get.
I was uninformed about some aspects of the birth control method I was using.. .if you want to call being uninformed 'not being more careful' then so be it.
I am trying to ensure that my children are fully informed about life. . .all of it.
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