Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

Pages

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 12:48pm
While the 20's are a time of change for many people, change does and can occur at all points in the life span.

I'm 'just' 34, but I surmise that if you asked those on this board who ARE 40 if they are the same people at 40 that they were at 30 there might be at least some "no"s.

And while my husband and I have grown during our marriage, we were committed to staying married and made a concious effort to appreciate the growth in the other.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 12:49pm
Shoulda just read your response and said. . ."what she said"
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 12:54pm
Thank you very much, but my child is not a 'mishap'. . .my being uninformed wasn't the cause of the pregancy, but was a contributing factor.

Fabulous sex with a man I adore (and still do after all this time) was the 'cause'. Had I known more I might have used a back up method. . .but I didn't know better.

To me that isn't the same thing as 'I screwed up'.

And I'm just one example. . .I'm also VERY fertile (luckily). . .I'm sure that didn't hurt either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 12:55pm
Oh, yes, antibioitucs will do it to you. Stupid doctor, was supposed to inform you about that. But once again, being uninformed can mnake a difference in outcomes and choices people make.

Sorry to use you as an example again. Don't take it personal, please.

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 12:58pm
I didn't want you to take it personal. I didn;t mean to say "your child" was a mishap, but the pregnancy was accidental. The term you used was better----"contributing factor".

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 1:20pm
No it's not. It is perfectly acceptable to have conditions on money. It would be extortion if the person was being threatened, but saying they will no longer get money that isn't theirs in the first place is not extortion. It's not any different to have the condition of a certain GPA on college money than to have the condition of no piercings. The person is perfectly able to get piercings and get their own college money, it's not like they are "entitled" to this money, or the money is theirs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 1:24pm
I'd also like to see the constitutional amendment that says college (paid for by parents)is a right!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 1:25pm
Hi Cindy,

I just wanted to say that I paid for my own way through college through scholarships and financial aid and learned to appreciate it more because I made it through all on my own and that is the way my parents wanted it to be. So to answer your question - I'm having lots of babies and there are ways to get them through college :)

Wendy

EDD 3/20/04

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 1:26pm
Constitutional right to *what* exactly?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 1:50pm
You always say this, however, it is not true. Birth control pills are 99% effective if used absolutely perfectly, which is impossible. In order to be used perfectly, you would take the RIGHT pill (you know, one that works best with your body, which changes every several years, and you never REALLY know if it works well with your body) at the same exact time every day. You would also have to not eat the many foods that can interfere with birth control. (I know, you must have a list of those in your purse, right?) Even if the normal person takes the pill at the same time every day, the practical fail % is more like 5-7%. Doctors do NOT inform women of this and to imply that anyone who has gotten pg on birth control pills is a screw up is pretty arrogant.

Pages