Would you have had kids if you couldn't
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

Pages
It's a lot easier to get all that other stuff out of the way before being married. Most thinking people would agree.
Why not wait? I met my husband when I was 17. We got married 7 years later. By that time we finished college (and had our parents pay for it) had found excellent jobs with promising futures, had lived on our own, had been able to save enough for a home when we got married, and basically had an easy start to marriage.
Obviously we were in love from early on, but what would have been the benefit of marrying in the beginning? None that I can see, only added stress.
Sorry, I don't think marrying at 18 is a smart thing to do, even if a small minority have been able to make a go of it.
If 18 year olds are SO immature in your view, then I'm sure you're lobbying congress to raise the age at which young men and women can enter the military? or vote?
As to how easy is it to go to school and while married and holding down a FT job. . .Gee, I only worked 30-35 hours per week, but I did have a preschooler at the time, does that count as a FT job? If so, I finished my degree (graduating with a 3.88 gpa) while working, married and with a child).
I work FT, have 3 kids, am married (though dh is away), AND am working on my Masters. . .and have a 3.87 currently.
What you want you work for. . .
I mean really, do ya truly want to go to Cancun on Spring Break as a married man or woman? Even though I'm saying that jokingly, there is truth in that teenagers should have the chance to enjoy themselves and act like teens. Otherwise, years down the road they may resent their partners for what they missed.
Gee, I know some folks who married at 31 and 28 who don't do that.
And I cannot even begin to count all the people I know who gave up on their educations after marrying too young and having kids.
I don't think anyone is suggesting that you should not have married your dh, but I know that I hope my children do finish their degrees, internships, etc. and settle into a job capable of supporting themselves before they marry and have children. To do otherwise does not guarantee failure, but it sure makes things harder than they otherwise need to be.
Pages