Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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But seriously, can you honestly say it wouldn't have been *easier* had you not been married or had kids? I think that was slim's point . . . that it's easier to get school out of the way BEFORE being married/kids/etc. Do you disagree?
I hear people say all the time. . .I don't know how you do it. . .well, damn it, I just do what needs to be done.
Do I want my kids to make choices in their life that will make life more difficult. . .NO, but it may happen. . .and that doesn't mean the end of their lives OR that they were doomed to failure.
IMO, giving up on your education because of work or marriage or children (not postponing, but giving up) is a cop out. What you want you are willing to work for.
I think you're a very intelligent, responsible, good person, but to be honest if my 18 year son old was sleeping with a 21 year old woman, I would not be a happy camper.
How is that mother in law by the way? How did they take all this at the time?
It would have been easier to NOT go back to school and to stay at lower levels of this field. . .hiding behind my life's situations. . but I don't always do what's easy.
Were they thrilled at the time. . .no.
But they love me and my children. They were here visiting in August and I plan to go see them at Thanksgiving and have a MUCH better relationship with her than with my own mother. I call her everytime I talk to dh to update her on how he's doing.
Interestingly enough, dh's older sister DID wait until after her BA was complete. . .she's had 3 husbands with a child by #2. . .and she just gave birth to another baby with a man I had no idea she was 'seeing'. . .and she's 33. Go figure.
When you were working, caring for a preschooler and going to school I was working, going on vacations, running, going to parties, going out to dinner, decorating my home and having fun. Obviously your pursuits were more noble, but I really got to enjoy myself (and still am). There is something to be said for that.
I enjoy family vacations, don't get me wrong, and travel. . .but I'm not a 'jet setter'. My idea of fun IS spending time with my family. . .going to a theme park with them, or the zoo, or go-karting, etc.
You're right. . .if that's what interests others, they aren't 'up' for the life I've chosen.
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