Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:00pm
Forcing your will on someone else is immoral and your teaching it to your child.

So You couldn't take it to court. Thank god my parents didnt do it to me, or I would have tried.

I just don't agree with it. I think it's sick you would cause your child to be that stressed out and choose what's not best for them b/c you play a battle of wills.

That's selfish.

my opinion, I am entitled to it. Doesn't mean you have to accept it.

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:05pm
Hmm.. Guess we have different views of this. Let's leave it at that.

I am of the mind if I said I would do something, I will. It's that simple. AND I expect the same of my children.

Then again, I wouldn't pay for college.. I know I didn't appreciate the help my parents gave me at that age.. And I am not about to waste it on my child. If they want college, they will earn it. It's that simple.

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:06pm
Do what they (18yo+) to do with what they want to their bodies, with out reguard for you, or your opinion.

I thought I said that clear enough? Hmm?

guess not.

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:13pm
No, of course not... You wouldn't let them get married either would you???

heh heh..

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:20pm
I have to disagree with you right there! I am 32, my intended is 23.. He is VERY good in bed, but you wouldn't ever find out cause you rather have someone who's been around the block a few times... KWIM???

At least I am sure in the fact that he doesn't have STD's and I was his first.. Bah, your just too good for all of us aren't you??

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:44pm
You implied (intended or not) that if her dh was fabulous at sex at that age that he must have been around ... sounded like a dig to me!

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:52pm
Maybe. Thing is, our life together didn't prevent us from doing those things. We just would have had to work harder (arrange for childcare, etc) to get them. And he didn't wanna work to get it. He wanted to take the easy way out.

Of course, that's not the ONLY reason we are divorcing, but i really think it is a part.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 5:11pm
Speak for yourself woman! LOL

While I will admit that things just get better with time, I would not say my dh was any less than ultra fabulous from the beginning! (Ages 22-23)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 5:29pm
The 18+ offspring wouldn't be prevented from doing this. They just might not get any money from their parents if they did. The 18+ year olds can do whatever they want. And the parents can choose to spend their money however they want. There is nothing illegal about strings attached to money. It isn't very nice. I wouldn't do it. But it isn't illegal.
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 5:35pm
Define 'easier'. .or 'better'. . .maybe your 'better' isn't what would have been better for ME. I realize you are speaking in generalities, but generalities are just a step away from stereotypes.

I'm not trying to advocate that couples SHOULD marry young, but that it is AS VALID a life choice as marrying later is. . .just like SAH is just as valid a life choice as WOH is.

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