Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 11:09pm
<<<>>> maybe. <<<< I wouldn't do it>>>>> you never know. i wouldnt have thought i would either when my kids were younger, but when i was challenged, it was the only string i could pull. by choosing college over a tongue ring, she is enjoying studying abroad right now, and having a blast. i dont think she would get the same effect with a tongue ring.
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 11:16pm
Isn't that what I just said. . .well, it's what I meant to say at least.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 11:17pm
WOW!!! that is pretty heavy and you probably hit the nail on the head. we're married 24 years, and when we tell people, they smile and say, that is wonderful, 24 years and you're still in love. when i think of all the cr@p *i* put up with the first fifteen years, i have to laugh to myself. all i chalk it up to is *stamina* on both sides.

your stbxh bailed out when the going got tough whether emotionally, spiritually, whatever. sometimes i consider throwing in the towel, but *is* the grass greener on the other side?? sure a fling might be fun, but a fling wont carry one through to the end.

im glad you're keeping your chin up and adult enough to understand it could be an underlying issue stbxh has not come to terms with. its tough, and i have my hat off to you for carrying on in a respectable manner!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-09-2003 - 11:21pm
Bu!!sh!t
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:30am
Well, describing your attitude, he wouldn't touch you anyway, your not his type.

**hook shot**

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:35am
By giving them the impression most of their childhood that you ARE going to pay for it.

It's not hard to see it.

However, I was actually advocating the fact that it's the CHILD'S body.. Not yours, and your the one who is trying to force your "beliefs" on the child. You really don't have a say in how they behave, decide or otherwise choose to live their lives.

How the other woman described it you would think she was going to take them to college with a ball and chain. Gut reaction here..

So it wouldn't stand in court. I already admitted that in this thread if you read it, or even bothered.

That doesn't change the fact its wrong, and it SHOULD not be done.

Also doesn't change the fact that you can sue for any damn reason you want.

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:42am
ITA!! I couldn't have said it better!! Amen sistah!!

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:44am
only someone selfish would do that without first talking to the "other" person involved before making that choice. But you know we are just dumb and stupid for falling in love..

OK

TwinsMom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:26am
I never in any of my posts said anything about myself trying to force my beliefs on my adult children. I am just debating the extortion part of the debate. As I stated in my OP on this subject I don't think that putting qualifications on money is a good idea and I don't think that I will ever do it. I do have two adult children that are in college. One has a cartlide piercing and a belly button piercing, does that make me happy, no. did I do anything about it, no.

But there is one thing that you have stated correctly in some of your posts. The only person that anyone has any control over is theirselves. That means that they get to make decisions about what they will do. Then other people get to make decisions about what they will do.

You stated on an ealier post that you will not be paying for your children's college. They will have to do work to earn it. How is that any different? You are making the decision on how to spend your money and then they have to make a decision based on that. They can decide to pay to go to college themselves or not to go to college.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:37am
If your reason for nixing a toungue ring is only about the insurance then I hope that your DD does not have any cartlidge piercings. Because the blood flow to the top of the ear is much less then to the lobe, getting untreatable infections there is much more common. There are many people that have lost their outer ears due to cartlidge piercings.

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