Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 3:50pm
Do you think I'm unaware of the legalities of the situation? I've admitted that I let my heart rule my head at that moment. . .love will do that to you. I also suppose, and the lawyers can correct me if I'm wrong, that you'd be hard pressed to find a DA that would prosecute a 20 year old woman for statutory rape involving a 17 year old male (boy, man, whatever). At the time he was less than 6 months from his birthday. . .by the time they brought it to court he WOULD have been 18.

We're not talking Mary Kay Letournea and Villi Fulau here. . .

At any rate, do you think that after 13+ years, 3 children plus a 'lost child', more ups and downs than I can count, and the love and devotion of him AND his family. . .that I'm going to let YOU play judge and jury with me and my life. . .um, NOPE.

When your life is perfect. . .cast the first stone.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:03pm
According to this site, the age of consent for the areas in question was under 18.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:04pm
That depends on the state. In my state, third degree statutory rape only applies to having intercourse with someone under 16 that is also more than 3 years younger than you.

DH and I lived together when I was 17. Of course, I left my own place to live with him, I was already not living at home.

PS: I wasn't any more a "girl" then than I am now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:09pm
*Doctors do NOT inform women of this*

See how important information is.

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:13pm
How did you get that he was a bigot?
Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:15pm
Chances are if you were nursing uyou were only allowed to take the mini-pill. which is not as strong as the other pills. Which is why you got pregnant. Even the insert tells you that. If your are BFding you are to take the mini-pill and as soon as you plan to stop BFding, it is suggested that you switch to one tha has both hormones.



Again, failure of information on your doctor's part. Your doctor should've made sure that was explained when prescribing then to you.
Tonya
Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:34pm
Her point is that the 45 year old already has the phd
Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:55pm
See wink?

If he didn't take all those courses prior to becoming a parent, how ever is he managing? How is it that you think these should be mandated with severity, yet you chose to have a child with a man that must have been unfit to raise a child... you know, because he didn't take all your courses?

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:59pm
Uh, that's not a failure of information. I know what pill I was taking.

The mini pill still prevents pregnancy. Or no one would take it. Taking any pill, as directed, while breastfeeding, is not exactly planning a pregnancy OR screwing up.

I didn't get pregnant because I screwed up. My birth control failed. Good thing too.

I like how your husband has a child that was "unplanned" yet everyone else is ignorant or screwed up. LMAO

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 5:45pm
I am probably internalizing this statement and therefore taking a little personally. I got married when I was 19. I have a great dh with whom I have enjoyed 10 years so far. I see nothing stupid about that.

April

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