Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 5:48pm
Marriages can fail if you wait until you are 40 to get married. I don't believe that age is a determining factor. I am sorry your mom didn't end up happy. My mom went through the same kind of crud. Married really young, to my dad, dismal marriage. I never took it as an indicator of how my own marriage would go.

April

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 5:52pm
No matter what I try to drill into their heads, they could still end up with a failed marriage. Statistically speaking what about a 50% chance? I don't know the current statistics, but isn't somewhere close? If one of my children chose to marry young, what could I do except love my new in law. What I do drill into their heads is committment. Committment is nothing to be taken lightly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 5:55pm
I'm sorry, but I don't care how many people here started living together while they were still in high school, I can't condone it, and I sure as hell would do whatever I could to dissuade my children from doing the same.


Edited 9/10/2003 6:00:16 PM ET by islimshady
Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 5:58pm
Maybe for her, but not for me. Dh was already a marine.

April

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:01pm
>>>>>>>>Why can't you become mature, become educated and have a decent job WHILE you are married? Marriage doesn't have to preclude any of that from happening.<<<<<


I very much agree.

April

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:07pm
I got pg on the pill. I didn't miss one either. I also had breakthrough bleeding with depo-prevera. Hmmmm, I have yet to have a condom baby, BUT I did have one charting my cycles. I am so dadgum fertile that my dh picks on and says that I could dip and hpt in my toothpast water and it would be positive.

April

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:10pm
How is a child a "mishap"? CRIPES lady! No wonder I can't even begin to understand your POV.

April

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:11pm
Agreed again! Same here!

April

Avatar for homesicktxn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:12pm
Yeah, and sometimes... ignorance is bliss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 6:18pm
A "child" (I think a better word would be pregnancy) is a mishap when it is unwanted. You've never heard of an unwanted pregnancy?

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