Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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(((Huggles)))
TwinsMom
One of the reasons that my DD1 is attending the college that she is is because of her best friend in high school. All throughout high school the friends father talked about when he DD would attend the school. He said that he would not only pay for it but for an apartment so she did not have live in the dorm. In Sept of her senior year of high school at dinner Tuesday night he announced that he was filing for divorce, and would be moving to an apartment on Thursday. When it came time for her to go to college, not one red cent came from him. I totally lost all respect for that man for the way he has treated his DD.
"I still can't see putting conditions on it. Either you pay or you don't."
Then don't. It's perfectly reasonable to put conditions on a huge chunk of money.
"Why put this noose around their neck as a condition of going to school?"
Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? Telling your child that they don't have to worry about the financial aspect of their education, so long as they a, b, or c isn't putting a noose on them. It's telling them what's expected of them. If they don't like the conditions, they don't have to accept the $$. How is it any different than a paycheck or scholarship?
"How is that "STRESS" suppose to teach your child not to strive? I don't understand. Bribery never works. It backfires more often then not. And setting precedence encourages conditions on lifes lessons."
Again, how is it any more stressful than the conditions placed on a paycheck or the conditions placed on a scholarship? Is a paycheck bribery? Is a scholarship bribery? Even student loans have conditions.
"Is you saying well you do this, and you get the cash.. Oki fine, now he/she learns that if I do this with everyone else I get cash.. Um that's not true. SO why teach them that?"
What are they? Four?
"They are YOUNG ADULTS? You ever thought about teaching them to be young adults? Talking to them rationally? Rather then Hold this "money" over their head like they are 3 yo??? WHAT life lesson taught YOU that, that was right? Or even a life lesson???"
How can YOU talk to your kids rationally when you can't even debate rationally?
"Practical, Applied Science. It's basic fundamental science. I do NOT believe in treating my children like a MAMMAL, which most can be taught to feed by the ringing of a bell."
Your kids are mammals, for starters. Second, how do you expect your kids to attend college if it's wrong to put conditions on money? (by the way, most schools have conditions for even being admitted)
"I would rather have my child APPLY the TOOLS I gave him/her to survive."
What tools would those be? How is getting a college education not applying tools?
"Sorta like you give a man a fish, (not that it's wrong) and he can eat for a day.
You TEACH them to fish, you can feed them for a life time."
What does that have to do with anything?
"Neither one is wrong. They are both right, however, my approach is much more result oriented in the long run."
No, it's not. And how would you know anyway? Have you put this theory to the test yet?
What IS your approach? You seem to have a problem with conditions on money. Scholarships have conditions. Grants have conditions. Paychecks have conditions. And sometimes, parents, acting well within their rights as parents, put conditions on their money. How is it you expect your kids to even be able to attend college if conditional $$ is bad?
Personally, my kids will get a certain amount of $$ once they hit college age. There are no conditions on that money once they get it. (though, of course there are conditions on recieving it... if they're in prison or addicted to narcotics there's really no point. Ya know?) But they also have college specific money (with conditions) waiting for them from others in the family. They will know they are free to accept or decline those conditions. It's their choice.
i stated in an earlier post, which went completely ignored, she may not have a tongue ring, but she is in SPAIN right now for a semester, and LOVING IT. i think its all about teaching priorities, and from the upbringing she's had, i'd say we did a damn good job!! LOL wouldnt you???
thanks ok!!
we agree on this one all the way!
beth
<<>> huh???where did all that come from???
<<>> who said it should "just be given"??? thats ludicrous. i dont have to give my kids another damn dime. if i dont like the tongue ring, and express it, and she wants to throw it in my face, she is 18 and can do whatever she wants, well guess what, im 46 and can do whatever i want too. PERIOD. nothing more, nothing less.
this post indicates there is a lot more to your "opinion" than meets the page.
there it is in black and white straight from your post.
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