Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 10:44am
Maybe she graduated early?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:00am
Excuse me? what is wrong with a highschool drop who who was married young and had children? What is wrong with making your decisions your life your pathway work the best for you and successfully? this is a beautiful example of maturity,motherhood and making the best of yourself and your family!

Your too much....




Edited 9/11/2003 11:04:47 AM ET by silverunity

Avatar for akpennington
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:06am
WTH are you talking about? I don't care what she contributes. She arguing something that no one's saying. I'm sure you understand that... you do it all the time.
Avatar for akpennington
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:07am
Nope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 11:28am
I did not say you cared.. was my pov about YOU?? She is arguing her pov and i disagree with it. You really should try to find a better arugment than "what are you talking about b/c no one else here is talking about it" who is everybody else and what are they talking about?... lol






Edited 9/11/2003 11:52:52 AM ET by silverunity

Avatar for akpennington
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 1:21pm
Okay, I have more time...

Me dropping out and me getting married were totally unrelated periods of my life, with years between the two.

While I'm not a good example of finishing highschool in 4 years, I'm not a bad example anywhere else. And it's not because "it all worked out just peachy," life was peachy before we got married. Our relationship has really not been much different than anyone else's. Neither has our marriage or our family. So, unless your point is that people that F up early in life should never parent children or marry, I fail to see where I'm a bad example. Because I've had a different life than you, with different struggles, and different victories, doesn't make me a "worse" person than you. I'm a mom and a wife just like anyone else.

My children will make their own decisions that have nothing to do with me.

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Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:30pm
Make no mistake, I'm not trying to impress you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:39pm
No one said you were "worse" than me. My mom made mistakes, and her life turned out just fine, but she used her mistakes to teach us. She, like you, is very, very bright, she should have gone to college, she could have done so much more with her life, especially careerwise.

I'm only saying that instead of having the attitude that "hey, I did it and it didn't turn out so bad" maybe people should learn from their mistakes and try to teach their children not to make those same mistakes. I just can't comprehend the attitude that people won't try to lead or show their children that there are better ways to do things.

This "as long as their happy" baloney doesn't fly with me. Seems like the easy way out.

Isn't that what we parents are here for? To offer our experiences, advice and counsel? It appears that some feel that they shouldn't bother.

My children, like yours, will make their own decisions too, but unlike yours, I hope those decisions have plenty to do with me and my input and guidance over the years.


Edited 9/11/2003 3:43:03 PM ET by islimshady

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:48pm
I agree with this post. And also disagree with pennington's statement that parents choices/actions have no impact on the choices their children make.
Avatar for karenester
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 4:13pm
I don't agree with youoften, but I wholeheartedly agree here.

My dh was a high chool drop out who was living in a cardboard box at 16. Oh, he's a sucessful lawyer now with offices in two cities running his own business and doing great. But you better believe that we do not want our kids to have the same adolecence, and make the same decisions and choices that he made. It would break my heart to see my kids go through what he went through, even though h is fine, now.

I think it part of my job as their mother to help them avoid the mistakes he made,and the mistakes I made when I was younger.

It won't mean I love them less if they make such decisions. But you better believ I would do everything I could to stop them, redirect them, help them, if I saw them making the kinds of decisions that dh amde at that age.

Just because we appear to have turned out fine in the end, we still want better for our chidlren.

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