Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 10:44pm
ita with you, you(in general) can not make a child at the age of 18 the LEGAL adult # (where i live) do anything, without huge consequences, on you the parent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 6:57am
Y'know, "happy" isn't that complex an emotion; even animals experience "happiness" and fulfillment when they are in a living situation that meshes with their interests, desires, needs and 'druthers. The average "working" dog will NOT be happy living in an apartment with someone who's rarely home and doesn't do very much when he/she is. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, either; the dog is capable of making his lack of happiness VERY apparent.

To suggest a teenager is incapable of knowing whether or not he or she is happy is so fundamentally wrong and betrays such a profound lack of understanding of humans, let alone children or teens, that one might question if you're in over your head in this thing called "parenting."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 2:11pm
Oh that's brilliant. Really.

I'm quite sure it would make a teenaged boy happy to skip school, stay home and play videos all day, eat pizza and soda everynight for dinner and to sleep with a hot 18 year old.

Doesn't mean they should do it.

And you think I'm over my head parenting? Too funny!

That just may have been the most pathetic display of parenting philosophy I've ever read. Yes, let's allow our children to do whatever makes them happy. Aren't you even embarassed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 7:34pm
No. Why should I be embarrassed? Your ridiculous and inaccurate spin doctoring/worst case what-iffing of what I actually said doesn't invalidate what I actually said.

I said NOTHING about letting teens do anything they want to do; I said they are fully capable of KNOWING if they are happy.

I believe anyone incapable of believing no teen could POSSIBLY have a good reason for doing something when she can imagine a base, crass, selfish and self-destructive reason for doing is more than in over her head in parenting. I also think such a perspective about teens (or anyone, for that matter) says far more negative about the person judging the teen than the teen himself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 7:49pm
"What is so wrong with a child getting pregnant at a young age and starting a family and not going to college?"

Oh nothing...nothing at all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 7:54pm
Cut to the chase H&I, the psychobabble is a tad overdone - yes, they know what is making them happy - for the next 10 minutes or so.

You're right, I'm over my head. I'm beginning to rethink my position on the ramifications of allowing stupid people to breed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 9:12pm
I yield to you as the authority on both issues: overdone psychobabble and stupid people who breed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sat, 09-13-2003 - 10:00pm
If I'm the stupid one how come I'm the one with......oh, nevermind.


Edited 9/13/2003 10:02:04 PM ET by islimshady
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:53am
Exactly.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 10:31am
Don't know about you but I'd prefer mine take some time to grow up and become self sufficient first. I come from a poor background where getting pg young was the norm and I can tell you first hand it's no way to lead your life.

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