Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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Just seventeen or so,
When she married Billy Archer
About fourteen years ago;
Not even out of high school,
Folks said it wouldn't last;
But when you grow up in the country,
You grow up mighty fast.
They married in a hurry,
In March before school was out,
Folks said that she was pregnant,
"Just wait and you'll find out."
It came about that winter,
One gray November morn,
The first of many more to come,
A baby boy was born.
And cattle is their game,
And Archer is the name
they give to the acres that they own;
If the Brazos don't run dry,
And the newborn calves don't die,
Another year from Mary will have flown,
Another year from Mary will have flown.
Now Billy kept what cattle
His daddy could afford,
Bouncing across the cactus
in a 1950 Ford;
The cows were sick and skinny,
And the weeds was all that grew,
But Billy kept the place alive,
The only thing he knew.
And Mary cooked the supper,
And Mary scrubbed the clothes,
And Mary busted horses,
And blew the baby's nose,
And Mary and a shotgun
Kept the rattlesnakes away;
How she kept on smiling,
No one could ever say.
Now the drought of '57
Was a curse upon the land,
No one on Bosque County
Could give Bill a helping hand;
The ground was cracked and broken,
And the truck was out of gas,
And cows can't feed on prickly pear
instead of growing grass.
Well the weather got the water,
And a snake bite took a child,
And a fire in the old barn
took the hay that Bill had piled;
The mortgage got the money,
And the screwworm got the cows,
The years have come for Mary,
She's waiting for them now.>>
Just realized today that I have nothing I feel passion about in my life right now. My job's good, I'm enjoying it, but there's no *passion* there. My family is good, I"m loving the time I have with them, but there's no *passion* about parents and brothers, lol. My kids are great, but I have a hard time feeling passion about them right now, because they are missing their father so terribly.
Ok, enough sad stuff ...
Hollie
Edited 9/14/2003 6:40:12 PM ET by savcal
But within a couple of years of my sister and BIL marrying they attendend the weddings of at least 6 other couples around the same age and they are the only couple still married. It is not much different for my brother and SIL.
The thing is, I'd want more for my children, not to mention more for my grandchildren. My one hard and fast thought when it comes to having babies is that people shouldnt have them if they cannot *reasonably* afford them (no, not talking about paying for college here, lol!). Chances are very good that an 18yo isnt going to have much in the way of marketable skills, or much of an education, and forget any life experiences. If my dd at 18yo couldnt come up with anything more for her life than getting married and having kids right away, I'd feel pretty sad about that. That doesnt mean that her life would be ruined or that she couldnt be happy. But there is a whole wide world out there, and I'd rather she take her chances on that 50/50 faillure rate of marriage with at least SOME life experience behind her, not to mention education and the ability to take care of herself. If nothing else, I'd have wanted her to live on her own for awhile so that she knew she could do it. I've seen women stay in unhappy relationships because they were afraid they couldnt make it alone.
There are certainly no guarantees on anything. But I'd like to see my children have at least SOME of the odds stacked in their favor, rather than starting out their lives with the odds completely against them.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
My parents married young she was 19 he was 18 he dropped out of h.s at 16 to help on the farm when his dad came ill and take over the buisness that he in turn bought and ran and now it is my brothers.
My sister finished h/s got pregnant married her husband who is now after years of eating benas is now a doctor.
So there is more than two exeptions to the rule.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
One day a few days after DD2 graduated from high school. She, DD3, DD3's friend and I were in the car.
DD2 said "Well, Mom looks like you have almost lost your change to have a teenage daughter".
My reply, "Well, I still have your sister, maybe she'll make me proud".
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