Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 7:44pm
A happily married 18yo is not even on the same scale as a "teen mom".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 7:50pm
How can an 18yo not be a teen mom? An 18yo is a teenager, many 18yo's are still in high school. Yes, in SOME matters, they are legally an adult, but eightTEEN is still a teenager.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:03pm
I think that her point may be just because someone gets married at 18 does not mean that they will be a teen mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:04pm
Oh okay! I gotcha.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:05pm
and saying "teen mom" puts that happily married 18yo mom in the same category as a 13yo unwed mom ... and its not a fair categorization.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:05pm
I agree with you 18 is the end of your teenage years and you are a legal adult BUT you cant drink alcohol seems funny to me. 18-what 24 is the typical college years? I think most young people getting married at a young age are fully capable of having a wonderful marriage even if they did not wait to go to college or whatever if they have found who they choose as their mate and partner in life.

I would certainley never push a young marriage but I would allow it to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:19pm
But often the only difference between an happily married 18 year old teen mom and an unwed teen mom is what the boyfriend does when he hears of the pregnancy.

Two girls both get pregnant at 17. In one case the babies father sticks by her side and marries her. In the other case, when he hears of the pregnancy he bails. Do you think that the one whose boy friend left should be respected less then then one whose boyfriend became her husband? What make what they did any different?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:21pm
I was married at 18. We've been celebrating one glorious anniversary one right after another for years and years and 2 kids (thinking about a 3rd) later!

S.V.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:21pm
I'd rather not get specific. Suffice it to say that we all don't have the same aspirations or expectations of lifestyles for ourselves and our children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:24pm
It's not just that, its how I'm able to live the entire rest of my ife, not just those years between 18-22. Getting married and having children at 18 would have definitely had long term consequences.

Don't forget, I got married and had children too, as well as did just about everything else I ever wanted to.


Edited 9/14/2003 8:26:32 PM ET by islimshady

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