Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 10:15pm
rotflof~ just having some fun..... get it??? nm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 10:52pm
Mee too! I have always wanted to be a mom, have a country home and grow something wild...Im living my dream~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 10:57pm
Well, I'm waiting for a reliable babysitter to drop out of the skky ... or for the day to have 68 hours .... lol

HOllie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 11:35pm
16!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 11:43pm
NOPE!!! Doesn't count! 16 years is still pretty new into a marriage...you must get past that 20 year mark to count! Or is it 30 years?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 11:49pm
What exactly is WRONG with having an average, middle class life? Can you explain that one to me?

As to the rest of your post:

"Did you ever want to travel the world," (Yes, I've been able to do some of the travel I wanted to do as a military wife. . and I have plenty of time to do more),

"ride in a private jet, be on TV," (um, No and No)

"get an advanced degree, have a successful career," (Doing both)

"do the club scene in Manhattan, run a marathon, be a published author, ANYTHING?" No, Double No, No

I realize you just gave those 'dreams' as examples, but why, though, is it so hard for you to comprehend that not everybody wants a fancy schmancy life. YES, I will be absolutely happy if my life includes nothing more than my husband, children, and the work I am passionate about.

If that's a dull life to you. . .so be it.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 11:54pm
But there are LOTS of types of marriages that are statistically likely to end in divorce besides teenage/youthful marriages.

Marriages of police officers and their spouses

Marriages of military personell and their spouses

Marriages of those who must travel extensively and their spouses

Yet people enter into those marriages ALL the time and most of you wouldn't blink an eye at that. . .

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 12:04am
Very well put. . .thank you. Since I come from an area where younger marriages are much more common and when I think back to the average age of first marriage in generations past, I wonder why it is that some here have such a hard time understanding that some of us really did know exactly what we wanted out of life at 18 or 21.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 12:15am
Must be 30 years because my parents divorced in their 20th year of marriage after marrying at 18 and nearly 19.

Today is my paternal grandparents anniversary. Although my grandmother no longer recognizes her husband, they've been married 63 years (1940-2003). They married when she was 18 and he was 20.

My maternal grandparents celebrated 47 years of marriage (1948-1995) before my grandfather passed away in 1995. They married when she was 18 and he was 33.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 12:27am
Nothing is wrong with being boyfriend & girlfriend. . .unless what you want is to be married.

How would you have felt if after deciding to commit your life to your dh someone told you to wait 5 years?

And can someone explain to me how young people who marry today are somehow magically less mature than those who married at the same time in their lives 40 or 50 years ago?

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