Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Unless of course we're raising children to take less and less responsibility. . .
You think the girls who were married off at 12yo back in the 1400's were more mature than the 12yo's of today? Probably-but then they only lived to about age 30 too. Whats your point???
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
I disagree with that premise, at least in so far as SOME 18 year olds DO know what they want out of life. While I understand and agree that we all continue to grow and mature with experience. . .some of us DID know what we wanted from life very early on.
I also disagree with the premise that an 18 year old can't be mature, in part because I belive maturity lies in one's actions and ability to responsibily accept the consequences of those actions.
You seem to contend that the 18 year old isn't emotionally mature, but may be legally defined as an adult. I contend that they CAN be emotionally mature now, just as many were emotionally mature 40 or 50 years ago.
It's perfectly normal for parents to want the best for their kids..college, travel, careers, lots of money, etc..I want that for my kids. But if my 18 yr old dd came to me tomorrow and said "I'm getting married", it would NOT be the end of the world.
Sue
What I did want is to share my life with someone I love, a couple of kids, a comfortable home, enough money to pay my bills. I'm not overly adventurous, never have been. I have everything I've always wanted and it's not ordinary or dull.
Sue
But one big difference between a teen marriage and those marriages is one simple change can greatly reduce the chance of divorce. Just waiting a few years. If you wait 4 years and you are no longer with that person then chances are your marrriage would not have survived. But if you are still with that person then you have even a greater chance of having a life long marriage.
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