Would you have had kids if you couldn't
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| Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm |
I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol
In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.
How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?
Cindy

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What I said was: "I don't for a minute believe that ALL the "My granddmother got married at 18 and has been married for 50 years" stories means that grandma knew exactly what she wanted at 18 and has been enternally happy. In many cases it means that she got married at 18 and has be "stuck" with him for the last 50 years."
Don't try to twist something as personal when it was not.
As far as whether ones marriage would have made it if they aren't still dating after 4 years, there is a BIG difference between dating and marriage. I would have never stuck by my husband, through all we have been through, if we were only dating. NEVER. But marriage is a commitment, and you stick through those bad things, whether you enjoy them or not. If you are married, you find ways to get through the bad stuff; you find ways to still love that person, even when they are being an idiot. And you work with that person to get through the rough times, and keep your relationship strong. Dating? FORGET IT! I would never, ever work so hard at a "dating" relationship. My husband and I would be LONG over if we had only dated, rather than marrying.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Just because I married my true love at 18. Just because I dreamed of being a wife and mother who stays home instead of going outside the home to work. Just because I will probably never work outside the home. None of these things means I have lower expectations for my life.
And how do you rate "expectations"? Because one person aspires to win an Oscar and another doesn't is one better than the other?
FTR, I do have dreams beyond wife and mother. I'm pursuing many of my creative outlets that SAH affords me the time and luxury to do. We travelled before kids, we still travel. I'm not talking trekking from Birmingham down to the gulf coast (although we do that quite often). We travel both here in the states and abroad frequently (for us 3-4x a year is frequently, maybe it isn't to others, I don't know).
I think some times we all have similar goals and dreams, we just take different routes to get there, and that is Okey Dokey.
S.V.
Maybe the world is full of people who never wanted anything more than to live a quiet life, living paycheck to paycheck, etc. Who knew?
I know that you had a very limited time between meeting your DH and marrying him for something to happen (I think that is was something like 9 days) but if during that time he was in a major auto accident that would mean months and months of rehabilitation you would have said. "Sorry but we are not married, so I'm out of here".
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
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