Would you have had kids if you couldn't

Avatar for cindytree
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Would you have had kids if you couldn't
1589
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 3:31pm
Would you still have had children if you knew you might not be able to pay for their college education? I'm not talking about providing food and shelter and needs of minor children and paying bills in general. Just about paying their way through college.

I guess I'm still astounded at the attitude that surfaced at another thread implying that if they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have had children. Of course, I'm a lazy, selfish mom at home who isn't working while some of my kids are in school so maybe my opinion doesn't count. Maybe I SHOULD take up scrapbooking to make my existence more worthwhile! lol

In any case, it is an interesting question considering that, under that reasoning, Oprah Winfrey shouldn't have been born. Give me time and I can come up with a whole list of highly successful and respected people who have impacted us in positive ways that wouldn't have been born had their parents decided that because they couldn't pay for college, they wouldn't have children.

How has the college issue influenced your decision to have children, if at all? Do you think it is an important criteria in the decision?

Cindy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:08am
Because I for one would never have been satisfied with never experiencing things that I've only read about, seen on TV or heard of other people doing. I wanted more, and got it.
Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:09am
And there's very little that I've wanted to experience that I haven't been able to experience while being married/with children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:11am
But if you loved him so truly and deeply you would have stayed by his side despite the difficulties, and marriage would not have been the only thing forcing you to stay.

Pfffft! So much for the great love you keep talking about.

Avatar for virgogirl914
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:12am
Then it's a good thing you knew yourself well enough to know that you'd be unhappy without those things. . .and a good thing that OKMrs. and myself (and others) knew ourselves well enough to know what things were essential in our lives.

Which is really all I'm trying to get at.. . .if I feel my children know themselves well enough to know what is important to them. . .and then decide to marry young or join the service or climb Everest. . .then so be it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:13am
And what makes you think those things are even important or interesting to everyone?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:13am
I wouldn't be able to make a response, hell would have to be frozen over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:14am
Can I just follow you around, shaking my head in agreement?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:14am
btw...did you get my e-mail? I've been having some e-mail issues, and I wasn't sure.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:16am
Not true. I NEVER lived paycheck to paycheck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 10:17am
Nothing "forced" me to stay with my DH. But regardless of how much I loved the husband I married, mental illness CHANGED him. He is NOT the same person I married 8 years ago. He will NEVER be the same person I married 8 years ago. But you know what? My committment to him has helped me to fall in love with who he is now. My committment to him has helped me to keep our marriage strong, when he couldn't do much of anything for or with me or our kids. Yes, that says a HELL of a lot about my love for him AND my committment to him! I'm not committed to a crap marriage just because we are married, I am committed to LOVING him THROUGH the crap times. There is a HUGE difference and you better bet that I love him!

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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