Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 11:29am
Okay, then how about not dressing kids in clothing that's appropriate *only* for adults, regardless of how many adults actually wear it, why they wear it, or how often? Again, I don't think it's complicated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 11:31am
If an item is in bad taste (to me), then it is in bad taste (to me), wherever it happens to be. It is not that I care very deeply, but I will register that a kid has on barbie sneakers, yes. How would I not? I guess I am as stumped as you are, since I can't imagine how a person would not notice something like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 11:46am

Could she wear her flowergirl (I'll go out on a limb and assume that's what you mean by "standing up in".) dress as her Easter dress? Or won't the style work?

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:04pm
The "inference" would be hers; the "implication", if any, would have been mine. If there had been one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:21pm
What do you consider to be appropriate only for adults and not kids? Would you consider such clothes to be appropriate everywhere as long as adults are wearing them? I don't see how that rule makes judging what a girl should wear any less complicated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:22pm

>FWIW, dd has been dressing herself since she was 18ms old. I controlled what went into her closet, but she controlled what came out and what was combined with what. Plenty of strange and horrendous outfits resulted, don't worry.<

Which is why I made sure that everything matched everything else. Mismatched clothing is like fingers on a chalkboard (do they still make them? lol) to me.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:28pm

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Oh, you know. High heeled shoes, low-cut necklines, things primarily worn in the entertainment biz or by "working girls".

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No, but that doesn't mean they're never appropriate whenever adults wear them, does it? Depends on the context. But that doesn't mean they're *ever* appropriate for kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:45pm
I'm sorry, did I say that noone was rude to you in return?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:46pm
That's fine, but all that means is that you are operating on your own definitions of the words. We all know how well that works.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 12:51pm

So it's what I originally surmised. You have a specific set of clothing, all of which might fall under your concept of "sexually suggestive", in mind. It's not about kids (specifically girls, since boys haven't even come into this discussion) dressing like adults. It's specifically about girls dressing in a sexually suggestive manner. Since "sexually suggestive" will also be in the eye the beholder, I don't find that a very uncomplicated rule to follow.

I'm also still trying to understand what you mean by girls dressing like little girls instead of adults. Since the vast majority of adults do not dress like hollywood entertainers or hookers, what exactly should be different with regard to girls' clothing compared to adults'?

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