Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 3:44pm
It can be simple for each of us as individuals, which is fine with me. It depends on what degree of severity you mean, really, since the "bimbo look", like anything else, ranges from semi-bimbo to skank ho', and I've seen my girls try to leave the house looking like those and everything in between ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 3:51pm
OK, to me "tacky" just means in bad taste, often on the cheap side (although not necessarily). Stuff that is all the way over into inappropriate is usually a case of really bad taste on the side of the parents. It would never occur to me to judge someone neglectful just because the person has bad taste.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:05pm
Exactly; really bad taste isn't neglectful in any but the most trivial sense. There's enough actual neglect out there that we can reserve the term for when it truly applies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:39pm
I agree. The only thing I find inappropriate about young girls wearing shoes with higher heels is that they are more likely to twist their ankles than girls wearing lower heels.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:51pm
Hmm. I find it very easy to see the difference between a too high and low heel on myself. I also find it easy to see the difference between a skirt and a too-short skirt on myself. I also find it easy to see the difference between a shirt and a too-tight or too-low shirt on myself. Does the judgement of parents to determine the degree of appropriateness of a certain item of clothing or footwear somehow become impaired when that item is on their child? My guess is that the parents of the pre-teens sporting the bimbo look at the mall have some issues with the bimbo look themselves. And I don't think that heels in and of themselves are bimbo-like on a pre-teen. In combination with other things-- yes. Kind of like wearing a bright accessory in the "now" color looks fashionable, but dressing head to toe in that color is garish.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:58pm
Generally, when someone talks about shoes with "heels," they are refering to shoes that are not flats.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 5:34pm
"Pre-teens sporting the bimbo look" - from some of these posts, you'd think there was no such thing...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 5:36pm
Well, I wasn't the one who mentioned heels. Nor was I the one to gauge just how high they are or aren't, which of course makes a difference. But then again, I wasn't the one getting revved up about them, either.


Edited 2/24/2007 5:43 pm ET by sabinamarianne
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 6:16pm

I don't think anyone has said anything of the sort. I think people are disagreeing with your premise that any pre-teen wearing something other than flat shoes (i.e. "heels") is sporting the bimbo look.

From your post:
"But imo flat shoes are a must until around 12yo. I have no interest in the pre-teen bimbo look."



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 6:23pm

Your post said:

"But imo flat shoes are a must until around 12yo. I have no interest in the pre-teen bimbo look."

If you weren't implying that heels equal the pre-teen bimbo look, then what was the purpose of this combination of sentences. Usually, when someone puts two sentences together they are related in some way.

Again, generally "heels" refer to shoes that are not flat shoes. What definition of flat shoes were you using? Can flat shoes have "heels"? And by "heels," I'm using the colloquial defintion (i.e not flat shoes).



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