Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 11:27pm

Uh, its a debate board. I am not *correcting* anyone. I am asking her to defend her stance. She can have any opinion she wants for her own child, but if its posted on a debate board as a general *10yo's shouldnt use tampons*, she should have a better reason for the opinion than *tampons are yucky*.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 11:29pm

I never said it was impossible, just uncomfortable. And not all girls have a light enough flow to use thin pads. Big pads, even the ones they make now, are bulky and slide around. And some athletic events *do* make pads nearly impossible-swimming for one.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 11:31pm

No, she said there was something *not right* about *a* 9 or 10yo using tampons. Not *her* 9 or 10yo.

And again. Its a debate board. Everything gets questioned here.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 11:55pm

If that is the reason she has, it is not your place to tell her that it is not a valid reason. She said she would not let her child use one. Nowhere did she say that you shouldn't let your daughter use one.

One thing I have noticed on this board, a lot of women seem to leave their common sense out when they start nit-picking every single thing in a post. It wasn't that hard to determine she was talking about her daughter - not yours or anyone elses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 12:01am
If girl is heavy into sports, that is going to mean that she has a very muscular build - very little body fat. Very little body fat affects a girl's period. Makes it light, keeps it from being extremely regular - makes it pretty easy to use a thin pad. I know of girls who are on the local swim team and I know for a fact that they do not use tampons. I don't know what they do - kind of a personal question - but I know from their mom that they don't like tampons and refuse to wear them. So, it can be done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 12:05am

<>

This is her orginal post. It isn't that hard to figure out that she is talking about HER 9 yo daughter. Quit trying to read so much into every single little thing - she is obviously talking about her daughter. I can not be the only one who catches that. Only if you are being intentially obtuse, it isn't hard to see that.

Debate board or not, sometimes a little common sense goes a long way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 1:56am

"Even with my slow-growing kids, a year or so is all ANY pair of shoes would last before they're outgrown."

Heh. Ds is now going through his 3rd winter in the same pair of winter boots. Dd is on winter number 2 with hers and wore the same pair of sandals for 3 summers in a row. I'm used to getting two full winters out of boots for the kids, but I've had ds's feet measured several times this winter because I can't believe his feet are really growing that slowly.

"I can do 4, $15 pair of shoes in one year ... or 1, $60 pair of shoes. Six of one, half-dozen of another. I'll do the 4 cheap pair, tyvm."

I actually prefer to do the expensive pair because none of us likes to shop, and the kids prefer to wear the same shoes as long as possible :-).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 3:35am

All of those are in bad taste to me, and seeing them on a child would make me shudder. That is the thing though, it really is so personal that it is always difficult to have any meaningful discussion about it.

PS: I am barely 5-8 and they call me shorty at home. Where are you?




Edited 2/26/2007 4:14 am ET by sild
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 3:51am
I already said, the same ones as already posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 5:46am

Wow! To each his own but, there is no way that most of those shoes you posted are "bimbo" looking except for the red boots.

There are only young once and I would rather not dress them like 40 y.o. women.

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