Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:09am
Yeah. I should have stopped about 20 posts ago. I really was not even shocked or mad but disappointed. I am on another "debate" board on another website and that has never happened to me when I have asked for advice. Lesson learned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:17am
I can think of a whole host of reasons not to let a 10yo wear 2 inch heels none of which are that they make them look like a bimbo-in-training. I don't think you would have gotten nearly the reaction, if you had said you think it is inappropriate for a 10yo to wear 2 inch heels rather than implied (at least to most people reading your post) that preteens who wear shoes with heels have the bimbo-look.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:19am

okay, so it works in YOUR experience, therefore it must work for everyone. Because you say muscular active girls have light periods, it must be true.

Well, my body sure didn't listen to you when I was a teen. I had very little body fat. i was very active. And I had very heavy periods. There's no way I could have been comfortable in my cheerleading with a pad. No freakin' way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:24am

Good rule.

With this particular subject ... all of the main parties involved (dj, debbie and I) had stopped. I thought it was over. Then people come in (mountainmama) and start it up again. then it died again. and now, just this weekend, someone else started it all over again.

So dj can hardly be blamed for making it go on and on and on (you didn't say that, but another posted implied she should just drop it ... when she had).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:25am
It's wrong to say "looking like a bimbo-in-training" is the same as actually being or becoming one. But the fact that some are clearly confused on this point should be reason enough for a kid to avoid either being one or just looking like one, no?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:36am

You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have been saying what I actually think about this subject.

Maybe you don't agree that there are pre-teens afoot sometimes who could be described as having the bimbo look, or the bimbo-in-training look, in part because of their footwear. But that's okay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:56am
Have you been reading my posts? I have repeatedly said that yes there are preteens sporting a bimbo-look. I have also repeatedly said that footwear can contribute to this look. The only thing I was trying to say is that the preteen bimbo look requires much more than a pair of heels. I think you have to look at the entire outfit, not just a preteen's feet. I think though that we agree on this point, but the post I responded to at first seemed to imply that a preteen wearing heels (any heels) looks like a bimbo, even if she is also wearing conservative clothing on the whole, whether that is what you were trying to imply or not.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 10:05am

I hear you. I swear I need a bib some days.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 10:20am
It would be a pointless exercise. I could post 50 pairs of shoes or 200, but why? Pick something that does not fall in the categories I posted already and most likely I would find it acceptable. In general, the shoes should be without heels, without lucite, without sparkles, rhinestones, sequins or metallic leather. Patent leather is acceptable if it is black or navy, it is for formal wear and the child is under 7 or so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 10:29am
No,it is not pointless. I would like to see what you consider acceptable. From your description of what is not acceptable, I would like to see what is acceptable.

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