Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 5:51pm
I am sorry but what does that have to do with my post?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 5:52pm
That's very interesting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 5:53pm
I think it was the flwoers that threw me off. They wear shoes that are rounded and flat but not with the flowers or colored patterns. My girls dress colorfully but like plain shoes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 5:54pm
Okay. I was just curious b/c it doesn't seem like boys have a lot of choices. I agree with the low hanging pants. It doesn't even look comfortable!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:00pm

Okay. I went back and looked at all 7 pages of the first link and the second link. Thre are maybe a few shoes on the second link my 9 y.o. might wear. They are very young looking shoes. My dd is very tall and big (not fat but solid) for her age. A lot of those shoes would look ridiculous on her. There were some cute ones on the second link that she would probably like.

My 6 y.o. would probably like a lot of the sandals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:06pm
How so?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:12pm
Same here; after the age of 5 or 6, my dd's didn't really go for flowers, lights, Little Mermaid, and so on. But they did wear the same basic overall shape until they were 11 or 12.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:37pm
I'm just making a statement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 6:39pm
I just think it's interesting that you wouldn't allow your preteen call attention to herself via bright colors or patterns. I would put that under "finding oneself".
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 7:50pm
I don't think it's necessarily wise to encourage a pre-teen to "find herself" through her choices in clothing. For both boys and girls, their task is to develop through play and achievement, and focusing on their appearance at an early age strikes me as counterproductive. In fact, if not for media and/or adult influences, I bet darn few pre-teens of either sex would give a hoot about their clothes as long as they're functional and comfortable.

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