Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 7:53pm
I don't agree. We aren't talking about wearing revealing things anymore. I used to dress quite "different" in middle school, I think it was essential in finding my own style and place in the world. And other than your usual "because I said so", I don't see any reason why not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:00pm

Policing the board? Because you were asked (not just by me) to explain your reasons that *a* (not YOUR) 10yo should not wear tampons? How does that constitute *policing* the board?

Yes you can answer anything you choose. Even when its a non-answer like the ones you provided. I never said you couldnt, I was simply explaining to another poster that it IS a debate board and your post was certainly just as up for debate as anyone elses. Seems like you just didnt like it when people asked you to explain your reasons. Oh well.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:02pm

No, we're not talking revealing things. And I wouldn't make a federal case over it if my middle schooler felt like wearing some sort of costume to school, because that would probably be a losing battle.

But OTOH, there are some parents who encourage their kids, especially their dd's, to get all involved with clothing and appearance, and that wouldn't be me at all. The funny thing is, if our sons did that, we'd probably think it was odd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:06pm

that is not always true, low body fat does not automatically mean light periods, much of that is genetic. For that matter, someone heavily into sports isnt going to automatically have low body fat-again much of that is genetic. I've seen plenty of heavy girls who were still very involved in sports and very athletic.

Just because you know girls who dont choose to use tampons in a pool, that doesnt mean that it would work across the board.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:09pm

Then she should have said she wasnt comfortable with them for HER daughter. Not that *10yo's shouldnt use tampons*.

Why do you think its *your* place to tell me what I can and cannot post? Seems rather hypocritical, lol.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:12pm
You just described me as a child! lol!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:12pm

Nah. You've made it pretty clear that you want your opinion to apply across the board, not just to your dd. You even said it again after I asked, that you didnt think 10yo's should use tampons. So which is it?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:19pm
I guess I misunderstood. There's a giant gap between encouragement of over involvement in appearance, and disallowing certain items simply because they might make your dd or ds stand out. (Such as fuschia moccasins)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:22pm
Why? What is the purpose of the statement?


Edited 2/26/2007 8:26 pm ET by debbiemom2girls
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 8:23pm
Asked and answered numerous times. Enjoy yourself.

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