Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:47pm
I come from the perspective of being someone who occasionally falls in love with odd items for no apparent reason. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 4:27am

So Catholic school? I am trying to understand where the kid is picking up these ideas about shoes.

In any event, there were also sneakers on the second page, both running shoe styles and converse-type jobs. I think most kids wear some kind of sneakers most of the time. For dress shoes, dd had some kind of mary janes usually. Actually she still does, now that I think about it. The curent pair is purple suede, flat mary jane style, with a ribbon detail sound the sole, purchsed in a grown-up shoe store (dd has worn an 8 since she was about 12) and really cute.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 5:15am

In fairness to Sabinamarianne, I was the one who nixed the fuchsia mocs, fuchsia, PATENT, fake Tod's with GOLD decoration on the front. They were mock grown-up shoes, but the kind that would look cheap and nasty even on a grown-up.

That is something I dislike in kids' clothes, things that are considered cheap and/or nasty on grown-ups but are sold for kids at which point, because they are "just" kids, it is somehow "cute." One year, for example, all the shorts in the girls' section were hotpants.

So why do people buy it? This connects to the "mother-daughter fuchsia shoes" comment. From my observations over the years, and even some of the comments here, I have often had the feeling that the mothers have a secret hankering for pink shoes and hotpants, but know that would be inappropriate so they ascribe desire for these things to their daughters.




Edited 2/27/2007 5:27 am ET by sild
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 5:31am

That's simply untrue. There are plenty of girls/young women who are "heavily in to sports" who do not have seriously compromised body fat (i.e., insufficient body fat to permit menarche).

I would be far more dismayed by the parent who permits her daughter to endanger her health that way than by a parent who doesn't micromanage her daughter's tampon usage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 5:44am
Ah, thanks! Sometimes my level of cluelessness appalls even me :-).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:05am
I did from 20-23 (while in the Air Force)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:31am
Okay.


Edited 2/27/2007 6:39 am ET by debbiemom2girls
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:31am
Good for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 6:38am

Lol...she does not have any "ideas" about shoes. I am talking about preference of shoes. She likes to wear Nike/Sketcher type sneakers. More athletic looking sneakers. She doesn't like converse. She plays a lot of sports and likes sneakers that have a lot of support.

Those sandals with flowers, daisy's and hearts on them are very young looking. Her only other "fancier" type shoes are brown pair, little chunk heel with a strap and little "cut-out" design around the edge, plain black flats and a pair of navy blue, plain shoes.

I only mentioned Catholic school b/c she has to wear the uniform shoes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 7:05am
OK, then you just did not look carefully at the second page, it also had plenty of plain flats of different kinds.

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