Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:29pm
IKWYM, but as I posted to lindamom, IME these girls with the loud colors aren't interested in loud colors as such; they're interested in creating a come hither look, which often includes loud colors.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:34pm
They are ugly, that's for sure. I did not notice that they were shiny.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:35pm
I would agree with that. That is not the impression I got from your original comment, however.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:38pm
Exactly. I think those shoes are awful, but if my dd loved em, I'd probably get them for her, if I were buying her a gift or something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:39pm
I agree; once it comes to a battle, you've already lost. But that doesn't mean I can't frown on certain things, especially for school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:39pm
I don't agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:41pm
why would you feel uncomfortable for someone, if they aren't uncomfortable? Some people are incredibly comfortable in 'wacky' clothes because that's just who they are. Why would you feel uncomfortable for them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:54pm
You may not agree, but it's not even really my opinion - it's just an observation from being immersed in teen land 24/7 these days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 2:03pm
You mean you thought I was just this grinchy, grouchy mom who won't let my kids have loud clothes so they can pretend they're Pippi Longstocking or Dorothy or some other character? Believe me, if that's what it were all about, I'd be fully supportive. But alas, what they have in mind can be found on MTV.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 2:13pm

"Exactly like all the other kids"? Think back, and you'll remember how it really was. There's no such thing as "all the other kids". There are cliques: goth, emo, jock, metal, hippie... I forgot all their current titles.

I'm just trying to limit the degree to which my kids get all involved in the costume aspect of whichever clique or cliques they're currently dying to fit into. I'm trying to help them achieve some sort of balance in their lives by having more to concern themselves with than their physical appearance. Believe me, there are some kids I know who are obsessed with what's on their backs and in their closets. And my particular kids seem to go for the "Hoochie Mama" version of their clique du jour.

I know I can't really fight it head on, but I can discourage it, through withholding of comments and a tight rein on my plastic ;-)

Pages