Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:33am

No, I did not mean that parental pressure would be the only reason, but I do think that parental attitudes play a role. Also, I really can't see letting a 12yo wear make-up to school. Maybe to a party or other special occasion, but not as a regular thing. Perhaps I am just a big old prude, lol.

When I was in school and also now with dd and her friends, there were girls who started wearing make-up around age 12. However, not all the girls, only a minority.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:35am

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PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:37am

I guess I am getting a little confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:37am
Perhaps it's a cultural difference. Here it is quite common for girls to wear makeup at 12. I do agree parental attitudes play a role, but I also think that peer pressure is a huge factor in 12yo wanting to wear makeup. Also, most 12yo are going through puberty and beginning to care about their appearances much more than before. I think it is a healthy and natural developmental stage for girls to go through.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:41am
I only wear makeup on the weekends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:43am
Yes, that too and especially as a message to my dd. FWIW, I wear make-up about once or twice a year and when I do it usually consists of mascara and a dash of lipgloss. People have called me many things over the years, but plain and boring are not common epithets.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:45am
Yes, I am repulsed by the idea of putting make-up (or nail polish) on kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:48am
It is not UNcommon here, but it is divided by social class and other indicators. If dd had expressed a burning desire to wear make-up at age 12, I would have worried about who her peer group was.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:49am
It's kind of funny. I rarely wear makeup, but my sister wears it all the time. She has always placed a much higher emphasis on appearance than I have. I think that I look better with makeup, but I'm too lazy. Plus, I'm not the most skilled makeup applier.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:51am
Again, that is probably a cultural difference. More than just the lower class 12yos wear makeup here.


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