Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:42pm
Whatever else it is, it's not an upbeat POV, that's for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:44pm

Don't you think having BTDT gives you a bit of empathy towards dd? Understanding her teenage angst and all?

But my dd is quick to point out that punk and goth are two entirely different things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:45pm
Not in an ultra conservative east coast city.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:47pm

"The idea that they're always on display and have to enhance their appearance."


Um, when you're in public, you ARE on display.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:48pm

Does it really support your point to equate early use of makeup with being a white trash red neck, any more than it would support mine to say (not that I have) that wearing makeup means my mom thinks I'm ugly?

I don't think giving preteens makeup while telling them they're beautiful without it can be anything but a very mixed message.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:50pm
All true, as of course your posts usually are. But we're talking about pre-teens; is there no age when "you're fine the way you are" can be sincere?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:50pm

It's not a message that I would like to send to my child, I do know that.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:54pm

Would she have done the same for a boy?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:55pm

Do

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:57pm

Actually yes.

PumpkinAngel

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