Advice: The big "talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Advice: The big "talk"
1221
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 7:28am

Okay, I need advice on when people started or will start to have the big "talk" with their kids.

My oldest is going to be 9 next week. I have some friends telling me they already had this talk with their children at this age. She just seems so young to me. She still plays house, school and dolls with her little sister. IMO, telling her about sex is going to take some innocence away from her. But, am I sheltering her too much?

She knows about periods and body hair development. She already has little breats "bumps" (as she likes to call "em).

Agghhh..I really thought I had until she was 12 to have this talk like my mother did.

What is everyone's opinion?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:46pm

You're kidding!! What is considered attractive and appropriate varies by culture? Get outta town!!! :-)

Im kidding. Of course I know that. But women across the world in many, many cultures have been employing methods to enhance their beauty.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:47pm
The norm in my community is not to wear makeup at 12. The girls are very sporty, very nerdy and to my mind, very healthy in their bodies and their minds. So, there's not much to forbid. If, OTOH, their moms were more into makeup and talked about it with their dd's and let them be exposed to a great deal of modern media, which is all about the feminine mystique, then it might be different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:48pm
It is a question of how it is perceived and with what it is associated. I seem to think that JCA at some point said basically the same thing, that it was a redneck habit, but that she was proud of it. Identifying something as being associated with a certain social class is simply descriptive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:49pm

I can pass for a teen bimbo! lol!


Actually, I got carded for lotto.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:51pm
I would have no idea how to tell the difference, in myself or others.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:51pm

Yes!


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:52pm

Makeup, clothing, and hairstyle are all a little different, imo. I have no problem with a tidy appearance that respects the occasion and those we share it with.

But let's not forget that when it comes to things like "evening out one's skin tone" and so on, these are just habits that some of us get into when we think of what is attractive. If my skin tone doesn't happen to be as even as those models in the magazines, I might not necessarily feel that I don't look good. Commercial standards, imo, are destructive to women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:53pm
Sure, and some people think makeup enhances their beauty, and some people think it's pretty silly and a big waste of time and money. To me, a person who is clean, polite, interesting to talk to, whose clothes fit well and are clean and neat and show a bit of her personality, who is "groomed" (hair is combed, smells OK, tidy), and who is fun to be around, is attractive. That is, I am usually attracted to her and want to spend more time around that person. Isn't that what it's all about, anyway?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:53pm

I dont think it has A LOT to do with makeup. I think makeup is one part of the whole package. I get up in the morning and after showering, I put on clothes that flatter my figure, throw a little product in my hair and blow dry it, then I spend about 3 min putting on some makeup in a way that I know enhances my features, and finally I put on a little bit of jewelry and watch.

Makeup is no more of a part of my look and routine than anything of the other above components.

I just dont get the hatred people have for makeup. There is a huge middle ground between wearing garish and trashy makeup, and applying a few things to enhance your look.

If you're willing to wear clothes that flatter your body type and get a haircut that frames your face well...youve already proved youre not immune to enhancing what is naturally there. Whats the big deal with some eyeliner?

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 4:53pm
LOL, ITA.

Pages