are kids resilient?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
are kids resilient?
22
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 9:21am

so there's an ongoing feed on facebook about small school districts consolidating, a lot of the replys are that peoples' kids are better off where they are, that schools should NOT consolidate, et al.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 1:39pm

i wish resiliency was one of those things i could say i teach my kids.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 2:04pm
mom34101 wrote:
Probably more resilient than adults, but it really depends on the kid. age, personality, stage of development, etc. I think there is a tendency on the part of adults to think, they're kids, they'll get over it, but I know many adults who are still dealing with the after effects of their childhoods.

I agree with you mom34101, it varies from person to person and all the things you mentioned.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 2:09pm
egd3blessed wrote:..... . . . . . . .

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 3:28pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 5:23pm

i agree that resilience is a personality trait, i also see it as a kind of patience.

 

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 5:56am

I agree with you. Dd had a difficult time with change, was generally an anxious child and also very inflexible. I spent a LOT of time and effort helping her to overcome these traits to some extent or at least work around them. You can't change who you are, but you can learn to cope better with whatever hand you have been dealt. Now she is quite intrepid, going off to college by herself in a foreign country, going on interrail and vacations by herself and so on. She now tends to save her pigheadedness for moral and academic questions and her own integrity, where it can be an asset.

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Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 7:02am

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 7:47am

Yep, that was a big part of it with dd as well. In her case that meant excruciatingly detailed previews often and they typically had to be repeated. I would also have her identify the parts that particularly worried her and then we would brainstorm and practice approaches to dealing with those bits. It seemed to help her quite a bit, and like your dd she has grown into a very capable and independent adult.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 8:14am

my middle kid is the one difficult with change, it's not that she resists change but she needs to know what is happening and why it is too.

 

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 01-07-2012 - 10:56am
This.

I also want to add that often kids' resilience is heavily influenced by their parents. If they have helicopter parents, or parents who are overly anxious themselves, I think the kids tend to be less resilient. Kids with parents who let the children guide their own reactions, parents who take their cues from the kids, parents who give their kids a bit more independence, tend to have more resilient kids.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1