Are you on time? Are your kids?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Are you on time? Are your kids?
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Mon, 04-22-2013 - 5:49pm

Do you arrive for work, doctor appointments, social events, etc on time?  What events (if any) warrant being early for?  Is there anything you purposely show up late for?  Explain. 

How about your kids? 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:06pm

Uh--following etiquette means using manners. Nothing stuffy about that. I try to do that all the time. I'm not surprised that you and Jambles don't though...

And again, I have never come across bday parties like that. All parents have always been welcome even though the invite was addressed to the child

Surprised by what? That we don't run in circles who have strict rules for a child's bday party? lol. 

Will you stay with your child through elementary, middle and high school because of her allergies?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:08pm

<<You would think it would be the opposite to NOT do things with your kids and watch and enjoy what they are doing lol>>

Um, it's a kids birthday party.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:12pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">OF course not, I wasn't invited...it's a kids party.  Ime, parents drop off at parties and there isn't any kind of judgement associated with a parent dropping a kid off at a kid party.  I don't know what kind experience you have that is different but I'm okay with different experiences.  Really.  I won't even make a snarky judgement or bring it up later in a debate that is totally irrelevant because....well, I don't know why it was brought up.  </span></p><p><span style="font-size:small"><strong><span style="text-align:left">And there is no judgement at the parties I have attended with my child for the parent staying. </span></strong></span></p>

Certainly not from me....don't really care.  Really.  But then again, I'm not the one who brought up the subject, I would check with them for whatever judgement they have in mind for those who do it differently.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:13pm

""So, as previously stated by myself, Bord & PKA--if the parents want other parents there, their names should be on the invitation. And sticking around after age 5 is NOT the societal norm.""

Do families there use online invitations?  Parents here have abandoned paper invitations in favor of online invitations.  Online invitations go to mom or dad's email, and the sender can specifically limit the # of children invited.  Also, in the "invitation" section, mom and dad can specifically invite other parents and even other siblings, especially if it's an annual type party (not birthday) such as end-of-the-school year party, a holiday party, etc. 

I don't get the impression anyone's staying who wasn't invited first, either formally or tacitly as a yearly kind of tradition.  A lot of the working moms appreciate hosting these kinds of parties and having all the kids/moms there that they don't see as much as the non-working moms do during the workday.

If I don't see other moms and dads hanging out near the food table, I know it's a dump-and-run party.  (And I'm okay with that. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:13pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Uh--following etiquette means using manners. Nothing stuffy about that. I try to do that all the time. I'm not surprised that you and Jambles don't though...</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>And again, I have never come across bday parties like that. All parents have always been welcome even though the invite was addressed to the child</strong>. </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Surprised by what? That we don't run in circles who have strict rules for a child's bday party? lol. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Will you stay with your child through elementary, middle and high school because of her allergies?</span></strong></p>

No. But it requires a certain amount of nerve for a needle-phobic child to stab herself in the thigh w/a huge a$$ needle. I'm hanging w/her until I know she could do it if she had to. Which I'm guessing will be 3rd or 4th grade...

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:16pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">But you said it was because you were more social than others who didn't stay, why does it now depend on the type of party and where?  And why if you do this because you are more social, why stop when the kid gets older, are you less social then?</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><span style="font-size:small"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Social in that fact that I am friends with the other parents. Not sure why that is so odd. When they get older, the kids stay home and we go out to the bars and restaurants lol. </span></span></strong></span></p>

So when you said you are more social, you were making the judgment that others are not friends with the parents?  That's quite an assumption and pretty rude.  I never said it was odd, that would attributing false statement to me and also pretty rude.

So since you used to go to kids birthday parties because you were more social and now the kids stay at home while you go to bars/restaurants...that really sounds like the kids birthday parties were more for the adults than kids?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:17pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p>Jam-didn't know we had to follow etiquette for a child's bday party. lol. Must be some stuffy circles that some are in. </p>

That's quite a judgement, following etiquetter and being polite is now stuffy?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:18pm

<<You would think it would be the opposite to NOT do things with your kids and watch and enjoy what they are doing lol>>

Um, it's a kids birthday party.

And? You don't like spending time with your child and seeing the things they do? I actually enjoy going to some of them, like the ones at the pet store, watching them dance and make their own ice cream sundaes when they were in preschool, watching them having a ball bowling, watching them running around doing lasertag, waving at the window, watching them run around with friends at amusements parks, etc.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:18pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="color:#5f5f5f; font-family:Verdana; font-size:small; text-align:justify">And sticking around after age 5 is NOT the societal norm.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:small"><strong><span style="color:#5f5f5f; font-family:Verdana; text-align:justify">In certain circles, which we have established already. Not sure why you believe your way is right. I have never said it was wrong NOT to stay. </span></strong></span></p>

Over the years, I've found moms who work full-time and miss out on the day-to-day socializing with other parents are happy to invite the other parents to kids' parties.  It's great for the community.  Moms who work part-time or SAH have probably had their fill of socializing.  Or maybe they feel they're paying back for the times other parents carpool/invite their kids over for visits?  I don't know.  It does seem to be within the ken of the working mom here though.  I'm fine with the dump-and-run at my house, for instance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 2:20pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I try to be anywhere from 5-15 minutes early for work and appointments and on time for social engagements unless there is a specific hard starting time (play, game, movie etc) then I am 5-15 minutes early.  I can't think of when it's okay to be late.</p><div><strong>Yes, you are 5-15 mins EARLY for work and appointments and ON TIME for social engagements unless there is a specific hard starting time (play, game, movie etc), then you are 5-15 minutes EARLY. "<span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I can't think of when it's okay to be late."</span></strong></div><div><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></div><div><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>springfever2013</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Yes, you are on time. Never casually late, a term you never even knew existed until this thread :)&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Well no, that's not what I said, why bother asking if you aren't going to read the answers?</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>So now you know what casually late means? And when in any of these scenarios would you consider yourself casually late when you have CLEARLY stated you are either EARLY or ON TIME?</strong></p></div><div><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></div>

I never stated that I am either early or on time as if those are the only two options and yes, now that you defined your term casually late, I know what you mean by that term.  I really don't quite understand why you ask these questions and then don't read the answers very carefully and twist them into something else. Quite the game.

PumpkinAngel

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