Are you on time? Are your kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Are you on time? Are your kids?
361
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 5:49pm

Do you arrive for work, doctor appointments, social events, etc on time?  What events (if any) warrant being early for?  Is there anything you purposely show up late for?  Explain. 

How about your kids? 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 10:36am

<<It tuly goes to the heart of the sahm/wohm debate. ;)   At work, you're judged on your merits, and some on appearance, depending on the job.  Probably your field of employment.  At "home," the superficial slips in.  Being thin, pretty and having a "just smile" motto can help.  Some days I can't believe the life I'm living.>>

I can't imagine judging someone on their looks.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 10:34am

<<I would welcome your staying because, I like you, lol, and because I don't know how to handle your son's disability.  Kids in school grow up knowing all about peanut allergies, the parents hear about the special table in the lunchroom and how fun it is if the child with the peanut allergy invites you to eat with him/her.  Every year or so, literature comes home from the school about peanut allergies.  So for some parent to say to me that his kid has a tree nut allergy, here's what it is and what we do, is fine.  Go home.  But if that parent thinks my house is awash in tree nut oils, that's insulting.  If the parent thinks I can't understand a 3 minute tutorial on tree nut allergies, that's insulting.  I don't envy Regina's position.>>

Peanuts are not tree nuts or even nuts...it sounds like you missed that difference in the literature you received.  Tree nuts are found in an unexpected amount of foods.  Would you make a special cake and snacks for everyone in preparation?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 10:30am

<<I'm glad you give them the option.  Earlier, it sounded like you were staying with your daughter even if no other parents were there.  Really, I've learned one thing from being a sahm among conservative sahms these years ~ it's better not to stand out if you don't have to.  There would be gossip and complaints if the mom hosting the party was not one of your besties.  That's here.  Hopefully you live among less uptight busybodies who never gossip. ;)

And if I had 20+ kids running around and 1 mom, I'd be put out.  I'd feel I have to entertain you, chat, feed you.  Also, I'd be kind of insulted as my house is very clean.  We've had many children here with peanut allergies and no one has had a problem.>>

Yikes, that must be hard, how have you coped, other than trying to blend in?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 10:28am

jamblessedthree wrote:
Because crashing in means storming in... Uninvited.

Well no.  It can mean storming, in a different context as in have fun storming the castle. But it can also mean attending a party that one is not invited too.  Definitions are not rude, it is the incorrect application or the intentional misconstruing of words that is rude. 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crashing

Definition number 2, words can have more than one meaning, you have to pick the proper context. 

or http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/crash?show=0&t=1366813620

Definition number 3.  

I'm not sure your definition exists in reality.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 10:06am
"I wonder sometims if i was conventionally attractive if I'd be so willing to stand out in a crowd or if I"d be grateful for the automatic acceptance that seems to be afforded the beautiful.." ----------- FWIW, I think you are pretty and attractive. I do realize that you are not petite, lol, nor that perky soccer-mom "cute," but that is a highly overrated look. As for the beautiful, I have one friend who was always fawned and drooled over everywhere she went. She also seems to be ageless, so it hasn't really changed much with the years. From what I can see, she is no happier than the rest of us mere mortals. She IS married to a rock star of sorts, but there can be some downside to that and in the end he is just a guy, for better and worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 9:51am
It really depends on the company you keep, Are your tennis friends into appearances? Most of my SAH friends and I catch up at the gym with our hair down and no make up. I do have one friend whose look is perfect whenever I see her - be it the gym or at school, I can't keep up with that, Lol.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 9:32am

I get invites from LinkedIn but I don't have an account there either, I save them and figure one of these years they may come in handy.

 


 


Avatar for BeaArthurisMyReligion
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 9:32am

It's interesting... b/c I've never been thin or pretty i've never 'fit in' in that classical sense and long ago learned to poke fun at myself before others could so for some reason that seems to have gained me the reputation as 'the funny mom'  (maybe they mean funny peculiar I dunno)  but I've embraced it for what its worth...I wonder sometims if i was conventionally attractive if I'd be so willing to stand out in a crowd or if I"d be grateful for the automatic  acceptance that seems to be afforded the beautiful.. (not saying that in a bad way, i'm genuinely thinking about it..)  But at the end of day I have a very unconventional family so it's kind of hard to blend in anyway.. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 9:29am

BeaArthurisMyReligion wrote:
<p>' it's better not to stand out if you don't have to"</p><p>that was one rule I was never able to figure out... even trying not to stand out I stand out b/c of my freakish height... things are uch easier now that the girl is older though.. the parents all seem like they've relaxed alot... I know I have.. or at least I've tried to.. </p>

It tuly goes to the heart of the sahm/wohm debate. ;)   At work, you're judged on your merits, and some on appearance, depending on the job.  Probably your field of employment.  At "home," the superficial slips in.  Being thin, pretty and having a "just smile" motto can help.  Some days I can't believe the life I'm living...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 04-24-2013 - 9:19am

lauren1063 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;lauren1063&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;  My experience has been that when a child has special needs, the parents welcome (in my case,demand) the presence of that child's parent, regardless of whether other parents are staying.  It takes a huge load off of their shoulders.  &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;That's different.  We always invite the autism group to son's parties because his grade has had the pleasure of spending lots of time with the gang.  In K and 1st, they all combine for morning meetings to go over the date, weather, numbers, spelling, etc.  I've been in the classroom for some of those.  Great kids.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>But how does my child supposedly needing a parent along (he really didn't...although I did serve as a handy means of escape) differ from Regina George's child needing a parent along to deal with potential medical crises?  Wouldn't it be preferable to have a parent along in the event that the child needed emergency attention?</p>

I would welcome your staying because, I like you, lol, and because I don't know how to handle your son's disability.  Kids in school grow up knowing all about peanut allergies, the parents hear about the special table in the lunchroom and how fun it is if the child with the peanut allergy invites you to eat with him/her.  Every year or so, literature comes home from the school about peanut allergies.  So for some parent to say to me that his kid has a tree nut allergy, here's what it is and what we do, is fine.  Go home.  But if that parent thinks my house is awash in tree nut oils, that's insulting.  If the parent thinks I can't understand a 3 minute tutorial on tree nut allergies, that's insulting.  I don't envy Regina's position. 

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