Wow, that really is rude. Why can't people just accept that some people find parties fun?
I think I've been to the type of overblown party you mean. A friend of mine once threw a massive bash for her daughter's first b-day and served cocktails to the parents, who were expected to dress up. Obviously, it was not for the child. I guess that would be the definition of blow out for me.
But I have heard parents complain about any party that isn't at home and call it "overblown."
“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” ― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
Well, I'm eating some words I posted somewhere on this site years ago, in which I decried the overblown parties that so many parents throw for their kids. After years of experience, I think "overblown" parties rock.
Why? Well, for starters, they're somewhere other than your house. Actually, that's such an important point that I'll repeat it. THEY ARE SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR HOUSE. No mess is huge in my book. Second, you don't have to do anything other than write a check if you don't want to. No planning is also big. Third, kids really love them, even ift their parents think you are promoting crass consumerism.
That party sounds fantastic and is something my kids would have loved (actually, they'd probably still love it, even though they are teenagers!)
The dad was totally out of line, BTW, but I think you knew that.