Calling all teachers and anyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Calling all teachers and anyone
36
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 2:50pm
else who cares to comment.

If a teacher tells a parent that her child should be tested for "impulsivity," is that code for "I think your child has ADHD but I can't tell you that directly because you might sue me"?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-25-2003 - 10:36pm
i really think the parents think their children will do better in life in general if they are mainstreamed with the "normal" kids. if they are immersed in a "normal" environment, they will learn "normal" behavior, but the fact of the matter is, because the children are *not* normal, they need special attention that public school does not always provide. i have two friends with autistic children who are mainstreamed, however, are not behavioral problems, and are able to communicate. one is 20 and will be in a group home probably for the rest of his life after he turns 21, however, will work at some kind of job, and have guidance. the other is around 7yo, and from what i hear is doing beautifully. they are in ny and nj repectfully, and the moms had to fight like hell to have the care they require, but once that was in place, it has been pretty smooth going. i do know the 7yo was diagnosed at the age of three, so hes had "therapy" that long. the 20yo was diagnosed at the age of around 5 or 6 as his is not extreme, but nontheless there.

the reason i say the feeling of mainstreaming children with difficulties with "normal" kids is because my dd was paired with a boy in elementary school for a project. he was disruptive, and combative. she came home crying, because he would give the books she was using to other kids, and give her a hard time about working on the project. i finally called the teacher and talked it over. she told me what i knew i would hear. they tried to pair the high achievers with the low achievers, and it came down to me saying point blank, i dont appreciate my high achiever being penalized because of it. she did allow jaime to do her project independently after that, but i can appreciate the frustration of the parents of the other children. when a child has a particular problem, it needs to be addressed appropriately and not at the expense of other children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-26-2003 - 4:02pm
I think many special ed kids benefit from being mainstreamed, but not ALL of them do. Ds has an ESE child in his class. He is a bit "off"but functions well in the classroom most of the time. I think that over the course of his life he will have benefitted from seeing normal behavior modeled most of the time.

But there are some kids that are to far "off" to be successfully mainstreamed. And those children are done a dis-service if their parents don't allow them to be placed in a better environment for them. I hate to see a child suffer because of the unwillingness of a parent to acknowledge that they were not "just like everyone else".

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 8:50am
Jenna:

You hit the nail on the head. She just cannot deal with her son - it would be a black mark against her. Everyone else's kids are to her "unusually mellow," including her sister's two who are about the same age. And she compounds it by just constantly screaming at him. He's a sweet boy, but in my opinion totally out of control. And frankly, I cannot believe that a woman with a 9 year old and a 3 year old is just now hearing about "1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan. Maybe I'm just more interested in parenting literature? What she doesn't know just blows me away. And it angers me because her kids are suffering for it. But I agree with Beth Ann, it's not worth ruining the friendship, so I'll keep quiet.

Felicia

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 8:51am
ITA.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 2:54pm
I think public schools have a serious problem in understanding which children should be mainstreamed. A close friend took care of a little girl who is quadripalegic sp? .. couldn't really eat, speak, move etc, however she has the mental capacity of a normal child. The poor thing was stuck in special ed classes until they fought hard enough to get her into a regular class (with a computer thing that helps her speak) and now she is thriving. So they stick the ones with physical problems and no developmental problems in special ed, but mainstream the ones with no physical problems and plenty developmental ones... (sigh)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 06-01-2003 - 9:15pm
Not sure. A lot of teachers are scared of getting sued these days though. They tend to be careful.

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