Certainly you know them...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Certainly you know them...
1202
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 6:53am

People that wake up everyday to sunshine regardless of the actual weather, whose lives look peachy perfect b/c of their demeanor, whose energies and smiles motivate you or make you want to strangle them... 

Or do you? 

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 7:39am

My mother was like this.  I know others too obviously b/c I've shared similar stories before... 

But most recently there was a woman I met at a church meeting like this, She enters always with a warm smile on her face.  I used to think she has no idea what others are experiencing b/c she pushes the hard away and doesn't talk about that, The more I got to know her the more unraveled her less than perfect life became.  It's not really about the situations but how we approach them and deal that she and people like that teach me. 

Just my thoughts. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 7:57am

Of course most people don't talk about the hard things in their lives with casual acquaintances. No one has any idea what others are going through, or have gone through, really. I never assume anyone has a perfect or easy life. That's fairy tale stuff, not reality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 8:15am

bordwithyou wrote:
<p>Of course most people don't talk about the hard things in their lives with casual acquaintances. No one has any idea what others are going through, or have gone through, really. I never assume anyone has a perfect or easy life. That's fairy tale stuff, not reality.</p>

Right, We debate it instead, Lol but perhaps this explains why real friendship is hard to you.  Feeling comfortable enough around someone you can share hard times (and good, of course) is the warm and fuzzy of friendship, Fairy tale that is not, YMMV. 

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 8:19am
Bord, I am reading these comments and chuckling. There is a restaurant near my house, where we often ate as I was going through chemo. I am sure I looked like death warmed over a lot of the time. Recently they decided to paint the names of their favorite customers on the chairs, along with a nickname for each one. My chair has my name, followed by the epithet "she of the warm smile."
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 8:25am
Yes, Jambles, it is real friendship to be with and support a friend who is going through something difficult. It is also hard.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 8:36am
" it is real friendship to be with and support a friend who is going through something difficult. It is also hard." ------ True that, but let's say it is not a friend. Let's say you just generically want to support the "breast cancer cause," and you do not have breast cancer. I can see how it must be much more fun to do if you can just stick to sunny, inspirational stories and pretty pink balloons. I have no problem with that. God bless and all that. What has baffled me repeatedly through these discussions here is when it is proposed that people who actually have the disease should take the same approach and find it somehow motivational and empowering. An awful lot of actual patients do not see it that way. That is really all I was trying to point out, apparently to little avail. The Scar Project, as one example, has helped an enormous number of women in so many ways. It may be upsetting to non-patients, but the whole point is that the non-patients are not the ones who need support and motivation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 8:50am
It's not about you mops but how we see others. And I started the discussion b/c of your last disdain about warm and fuzzy people not understanding the depths of things like cancer.. Where does that come from and what "reality" do you think they do not understand?

 


 


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 8:53am
"b/c of your last disdain about warm and fuzzy people not understanding the depths of things like cancer.." ------- I said nothing of the sort, so I can't answer your question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 9:43am

rollmops2009 wrote:
" it is real friendship to be with and support a friend who is going through something difficult. It is also hard." ------ True that, but let's say it is not a friend. Let's say you just generically want to support the "breast cancer cause," and you do not have breast cancer. I can see how it must be much more fun to do if you can just stick to sunny, inspirational stories and pretty pink balloons. I have no problem with that. God bless and all that. What has baffled me repeatedly through these discussions here is when it is proposed that people who actually have the disease should take the same approach and find it somehow motivational and empowering. An awful lot of actual patients do not see it that way. That is really all I was trying to point out, apparently to little avail. The Scar Project, as one example, has helped an enormous number of women in so many ways. It may be upsetting to non-patients, but the whole point is that the non-patients are not the ones who need support and motivation.

Baffled?  By what?  So the scar project has a way of helping an enormous amount of women deal, Empowering are also pink rallies and a doctor patient that dances before her own surgery.

Different strokes. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 10:27am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>People that wake up everyday to sunshine regardless of the actual weather, whose lives look peachy perfect b/c of their demeanor, whose energies and smiles motivate you or make you want to strangle them... </p><p>Or do you? </p>

I do, I do!!!  I can't imagine not trying to live each day any other way. 

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