Certainly you know them...

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Certainly you know them...
1202
Sun, 11-10-2013 - 6:53am

People that wake up everyday to sunshine regardless of the actual weather, whose lives look peachy perfect b/c of their demeanor, whose energies and smiles motivate you or make you want to strangle them... 

Or do you? 

 

 

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 8:12pm

Cool, Forgive me then for thinking this last post at morty was to wave around what you think is a better life than hers again... And spending money just because sounds like keeping up..  Real wealth doesn't brag like that.

"Who works to sock it all away? Bord's dh lololol" Wrong again. If we want something or need something, we spend the money on it. We went on a 3 week 6,000 mile vacation last year just because. He gave his sister a trip to Paris for her birthday

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 8:26pm

falllflowers wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">DH's sister visited us for Christmas one year and we had our garage door open so you could see his ten year old car in there.  She goes, Oh, You still drive that poor man's car?  The best kind of car is a paid for car is the principle he lives by, Lol.  For some people that does look like a a socio-economic difference I guess. </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>lolololol</span></span></p>

I know.  That's when you change the subject to humble roots and all the joys in little things...  I Lol'd too,  How could you not to her ignorance. 

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 8:55pm
That's really not fair, Jams. She accused my husband of never wanting to spend money and I just offered examples that proved that we don't sock away everything we own. It had nothing to do with Morty's life or comparing my life to hers. And we spend money because WE want to, not to "keep up" or any other reason.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 9:16pm
No it's not, that's how your posts "comes across"... And anytime morty has a series of lolol after a post I kind of get the hint she's joking, Can you at least try and appreciate others' snarks?

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 9:32pm
Does Morty come across as trying to make her life seem better than others when she posts about going on a cruise, or is it just my family members traveling that is objectionable? I can't tell what Morty means with her Lols. Often it just seems to mean that she's come to the end of a sentence. I see no reason to appreciate Morty's attempts to demean my family members, even if she adds "lol " after she's said something insulting. My foster daughter used to try that - say something incredibly offensive, followed by "no offense. ". Ugh..,that's not the way it works!
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 1:17am
Jams, that is really your interpretation. Bord is not responsible for what you think she is thinking. Morty was accusing her family of being greedy and driving cheap cars all so they could "sock away" all their money. Bord explained that they do spend money, even on frivolous things like vacations.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 6:47am

bordwithyou wrote:
Does Morty come across as trying to make her life seem better than others when she posts about going on a cruise, or is it just my family members traveling that is objectionable? I can't tell what Morty means with her Lols. Often it just seems to mean that she's come to the end of a sentence. I see no reason to appreciate Morty's attempts to demean my family members, even if she adds "lol " after she's said something insulting. My foster daughter used to try that - say something incredibly offensive, followed by "no offense. ". Ugh..,that's not the way it works!

Likewise the demeaning posts you like as snark, about my family, my kids specifically and more than once I might add.  What you excuse and what you reply at so rudely show, whether you admit it or not.

DD1 went through a period where she'd go, No offenense but...  Then add something about me or what I was wearing.  I never took it as "incredibly offensive" b/c it wasn't.  I appreciate her honesty and that usually opened the discussion door about manners and what you don't say around others. 

Maybe what you hear is different. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 7:20am

so, Jamblessed, two questions:

1). Is it "trying to keep up" or "trying to impress" when Morty posts about her travels, or is it only my family's travels that are offensive to yo

2). If your daughter's comments were not offensive, why did you have to talk to her about poor manners?  What was wrong with them?

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 7:56am

2). If your daughter's comments were not offensive, why did you have to talk to her about poor manners? What was wrong with them?

Because I can step outside my comfort zone and see how what she can comfortably share with me might sond offensive to someone else?  I can't think of anything my kids say that is ugh-worthy..  Maybe just a couple... In history class she said they were talking Hitler and her teacher brought in the word, "knocking up" to describe him womanizing.  Not only is that not appropriate but major ugh-worthy which is how I replied when she told me that, Lol.  She's got a strange history teacher. 

Why are morty's cruises beneath your trips?  You've gone as far as saying her spending habits are wrong.  Who goes around saying, We spend just because if not to mark some impression or brag?

 

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:17am

1). If you are allowing your daughter to say things to you that might sound offensive to someone else, that is your business. If a child in my house says something like "No offense, but you are too fat for that shirt," I am not afraid to tell him/her that s/he IS being offensive, and that s/heneeds to rephrase her comments or keep them to herself. 2. No one ever said Morty's cruises are beneath our family's trips. No one at all, ever. You made that up. I said Morty and I have different ideas about money. That is true, I have never said that Morty is "wrong" about money. You made that up, too. The reason I said we spend money "just because" was to refute Morty's offensive statements about my husband being a miser. It was a perfectly appropriate statement in context. And guess what? Anytime anyone spends money on something they want but do not need, a/he is spending money "just because." That is not a brag. It is a fact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2013
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:45am

Bord.....you are speaking about vacations and spending money NOW. Were you and your dh being more frugal when you were in your 30's and 40's?  You never did answer me about the soda either and I have asked a few times, here and in another thread.

For vacations, I do no more than mention mine as others mention theirs. I have no need to try and impress anyone and if you noticed, I dont go around saying how much our salaries are or how much money we have saved. Those things are private and if you have to find the need to tell people how much you have, then usually people dont have it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:49am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><em>2). If your daughter's comments were not offensive, why did you have to talk to her about poor manners? What was wrong with them?</em></p><p>Because I can step outside my comfort zone and see how what she can comfortably share with me might sond offensive to someone else?  I can't think of anything my kids say that is ugh-worthy..  Maybe just a couple... In history class she said they were talking Hitler and her teacher brought in the word, "knocking up" to describe him womanizing.  Not only is that not appropriate but major ugh-worthy which is how I replied when she told me that, Lol.  She's got a strange history teacher. </p><p>Why are morty's cruises beneath your trips?  You've gone as far as saying her spending habits are wrong.  Who goes around saying, We spend just because if not to mark some impression or brag?</p><p> </p><p> </p>

Curious double standard you've got there, Jams. You've mocked Bord's credit card usage a number of times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 8:55am
Obviously, Fallflowers, we were more careful in our spending before our savings goals were met. The way we think about money, needs come before wants, and so of course there was less discretionary spending in the days before our needs were met. As for the sodas, I don't see a real question there. Are you asking me if your memory of what I said was correct? If so, yes, I believe it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2013
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:00am

So you are comparing 30-40 years. At 70 years old, most prople ARE able to go on 3 week vacations so not sure why that is supposed to impress me or anyone else. I am glad that  I am not waiting another 30 years to do things And might not be in 100% shape to do them, like you dh whom you have said cant drive at night as he is legally blind, correct? You never know what will happen in life and I personally do not see the need to live so tightly for so many years. 

What else does your dh spend money on now that he didnt years ago?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2013
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:00am

Do you spend money on your home Chest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:28am
Morty, I have never set out to impress you or anyone else. I am not sure why you continue to think so. Likewise, we have long ago established that you and I have different ideas about money, so I am also not sure why you continue to find it relevant of interesting to keep highlighting those differences. As for what we feel comfortable spending money on now that we might now have thirty years ago, well, it's many things, large and small. Obviously when your biggest financial goal is saving/investing for the future, you are going to live differently once those goals are met.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2013
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:34am

Of course it is different but I dont want to wait until I am uncapable of doing things, to have the money to do them. 

You and your dh are very frugal and you still are. That will not change with age and the amount of money you saved. 

Money does not impress me as well as waiting 40 years to use it. Anybody can say they have money as they dont usually show bank statements to the public. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:40am
"Of course it is different but I dont want to wait until I am uncapable of doing things, to have the money to do them." Yes, you have said this many times. Nothing new here. "You and your dh are very frugal and you still are. That will not change with age and the amount of money you saved." If you mean that we will continue not to spend money on things we neither need not want, you are correct. I see no reason to spend money on things we don't need and don't want. "Money does not impress me as well as waiting 40 years to use it. Anybody can say they have money as they dont usually show bank statements to the public." Is there some reason you are telling me these things? Have I ever, at any point, indicated that I am interested in what does and doesn't impress you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2013
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:49am

Why do you bother answering me then? Do you really have nothing else to do? I have a jam packed weekend with football games, parties, etc so sorry to disappoint you that I cant go back and forth all day.

Have a wonderful weekend. Hope you can find something to do. Maybe sit around and count all your money. I am going to go spend mine and enjoy life (while my retirement money was put into my account yesterday so I am saving at the same time) :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 11-16-2013 - 9:49am

Faallflowers wrote:
<p>Bord.....you are speaking about vacations and spending money NOW. Were you and your dh being more frugal when you were in your 30's and 40's?  You never did answer me about the soda either and I have asked a few times, here and in another thread.</p><p>For vacations, I do no more than mention mine as others mention theirs. I have no need to try and impress anyone and if you noticed, I dont go around saying how much our salaries are or how much money we have saved. Those things are private and if you have to find the need to tell people how much you have, then usually people dont have it.</p>

Well you have in the past, asked for advice at least on savings and budgets.  You also like to mock spending habits and salaries of others, I'm not sure why you think that is admirable.

PumpkinAngel

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