children need their mothers not day care

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
children need their mothers not day care
79
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 10:31pm
just want to add my 2 cents... i guess i'm old fashioned, but i firmly believe that a mothers place is with her children, not at work. Kids aren't going to remember the material things, but they will remember having their mom there for them when they were needed. Sorry but I am totally against the day care thing unless its a very last resort. Mothers, do with less and go back to work when your kids are grown.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 11:03pm
and where is a fathers place? Just curious

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 5:00am
I'm pretty sure my kid would remember being naked, hungry and homeless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 6:45am
I don't think it has anything to do with being old fashioned. I know its about a parent's want. You want to be at home. I want to work.

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 8:44am
I won't have a job to go back to if I wait until my kids are grown. I'll also be 55!!

Why should DH get a career and not me, just because we jointly decided to have kids?

Why is working only about the money?

Not all WOHMs use "day care."

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Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 10:19am
There has to be more to it than just dc is bad, mom is good. Real people are a very diverse set of beings. There is more than one way to have a happy family. And there is more to the decision to work or not than just dc.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 11:23am
What would you consider legitimate "last restort" circumstances?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 11:44am
Thanks for the input, but after almost 12 years (with 3 kids) doing it as a WOHM, who has used ALL forms of daycare, i think you are WAY off-base -- and a bit misguided. I can WOH and be EVERY BIT their MOM and there for THEM when they need me.

Of course, 11 years out of the work force would have meant college courses to refresh my teaching certificate, no seniority (which means that i would have no say about what subject/grade level to teach), no insurance...and going in now, i would make less than HALF of what i currently earn -- which wouldn't pay for the before and after school care that i still need!

Again, thanks for the advice, but it is hardly needed. Of course, i come from a WOHM (you weren't trying to insult her, were you?) and her mom was a WOHM. Yet, they both, like me, have well been able to juggle the demands of motherhood AND paid employment. I'd say my grandma did pretty well -- judging by my mom. I'd say my mom did pretty well -- judging by my sisters and I. I'd say my sisters and i are so far doing well judging by all 6 of our kids.

Eileen

Avatar for lola356
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 1:45pm
OMG you are so right.... i'm going to walk in to my bosses office when I'm done this post and hand in my resignation. By the way can you send me your address... I'll be sending those bills (the really important ones like food, clothing and housing) to your house. You seem to have it all together... thank god for random strangers on the internet who are able to make me see my evil ways.

L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 2:24pm
My mom WOH and I never felt that my mom was not there for me when I needed her. What I do remember is the respect I had for her for pursuing her career, for balancing her work and us, and her love. I believe that I was able to get myself through school to pursue *my* career because of her instilling in me that girls can do anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 3:36pm
So if you have daughters, I guess they don't need to be eddicated since all they need to do is know how to cook clean and have babies. Hope you have a good life insurance policy if DH dies before you, or lots of money in the bank in case DH is laid off/downsized like many have been in their lives. Oh and when was that magical time when all women did was dote on thier children all day long? Think it was a lot rarer than you think. In rural environments, Mom worked in the fields and kids fended for themselves or worked too. In the cities youngsters worked or roamed the streets. the grand era of sahm-dom, the 50's, produced the most self centered materialistic generation ever--the baby boomers. ah revisionist history is much more gratifying.

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