children need their mothers not day care

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
children need their mothers not day care
79
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 10:31pm
just want to add my 2 cents... i guess i'm old fashioned, but i firmly believe that a mothers place is with her children, not at work. Kids aren't going to remember the material things, but they will remember having their mom there for them when they were needed. Sorry but I am totally against the day care thing unless its a very last resort. Mothers, do with less and go back to work when your kids are grown.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 8:24pm
hi, Linda!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 8:30pm
i wouldnt call it "old fashioned", i think its more like "clueless". LOL. my kids were ecstatic when i went to work. then we were able to go to mcdonalds occassionally. you can only be so creative with *no* money. ever eat popcorn for dinner, because that was the only thing in the pantry on tuesday, and the paycheck wasnt coming until thursday. have i made my point? granted i stayed with my kids, but its not always as easy as some sahms make it sound. your dh has to be making a considerable amount of money to "have your cake and eat it too". i had my cake and that was it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 3:43pm
Well, as a stay-at-home mom, I agree that kids are better off when their parents have plenty of time for them. But it's not always an either/or situation. I know plenty of working moms who are doing a fine job of raising their kids, and I know some sahm's who aren't very attentive at all.

I want to address what a few employed moms have mentioned ... some of you seem to believe that the only way to set a good example for your child is to pursue a career. That's fine, but some have implied that sahm's are not similarly setting a good example for our kids, which I find insulting. My children see that I take an active role in managing our home, our finances, and their education. They see that I am involved in my community, often filling leadership roles. I read, I do volunteer work, I'm up on current events, I run marathons, and I have a have a busy social life. I am not teaching them that women are supposed to be limited to sitting around watching Oprah, baking casseroles, cleaning, and making babies. (Although I make a mean lasagna! ;-) )

My husband and I are doing what is best for our kids, given our particular situation. I feel fortunate to be in a position to stay home with our children, and I respect the decisions of those whose choices are different from mine. Honestly, I'm baffled that this issue should even warrant debate. What's wrong with respecting the choices of others? (I ask that of people on both sides of the debate; not just those of you who are employed.)

Peace, love, harmony, and all that,

Diane

**skipping back to the health & fitness board**

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 4:36pm
Why the Oprah-bashing? I think she often promotes a lot of good things in life -- mental and physical well being, community service, self relection, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 4:43pm
I've never watched Oprah, but doesn't she pander to the lowest common denominator?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 5:03pm
Please show me where I bashed Oprah. My quote was: "I am not teaching them that women are supposed to be limited to sitting around watching Oprah, baking casseroles, cleaning, and making babies."

I listed "watching Oprah" right along with baking casseroles, cleaning, and making babies. I'm certainly NOT anti-casseroles, anti-cleaning, or anti-baby-making. Just as I am not anti-Oprah.

I merely brought this up as an example of how we sahm's are often stereotyped. And my point was that my life, and the lives of most sahms I know, is not limited to doing those things that are stereotypical sahm behavior. (Please note the word "limited". This means that although some of us may watch Oprah, etc. our lives, interests, and so forth also extend far beyond this. Right?)

I don't watch Oprah, so I can't bash or defend her. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake a casserole. (Seriously.) ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 6:29pm
Can't you take a joke? I apologize if you took offense at my comment about "Oprah-bashing." -- it sounded like you listed it as a not-so-positive "stereotypical" SAHM activity. I am not some sort of an advertizer for Oprah. Perhaps it's my Chicago background, but her show is very different than other daytime talk shows. She tries to help people (sounds dorky but it's true). I think much of her audience *is* SAHMs and I think many of the issues she discusses are pertinent to SAHMs. I hope that comment doesn't offend SAHMs out there -- it's not meant as an insult.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 7:15pm
LOL! Okey dokey ...

Maybe you could lighten up a little yourself ... Please show me where I indicated that I was insulted or offended by your "Oprah bashing" comment. I thought my last post was quite civil. I know people can be touchy on this board, but I was merely offering you an explanation of my Oprah reference because you misunderstood my point, thinking I was bringing it up as a "not-so-positive 'stereotypical' SAHM activity". (BTW, did you see the friendly smiley at the top of my last post?)

As for Oprah, I'm sure you are right that the vast majority of her audience is composed of sahms. I don't know why you would think that some moms would find that insulting; after all, it comes on during the day when most of the employed members of society are not parked in front of the TV. I would probably enjoy her show, but I just don't watch it. However, I have read her magazine, and I seem to remember thinking it was pretty good. So you see? We're arguing over nothing. I'm not even disagreeing with you. :-)

Take care,

Diane

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 8:44am
Material things? You mean like a home to live in? You mean food? You mean clothing? Do with less? Should I feed them Ramen noodles instead of chicken? How about just let them wear a potato sack instead of jeans and shirts? I draw the line at living in my car.

I'm old fashioned, too. I believe that *parents,* gender notwithstanding, provide for their children. That's what DH and I have been doing. Both emotionally and financially. Your arguement of WOHMs working for "material things" is old. And it's wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 10:18am
He he.

"Look, Mr. Manager, I KNOW that my engineering degree is 30 years old and I haven't worked in a cleanroom in 20 years. I realize that lithography now is at 0.01 nm and I was working on 100 nm back then, but it can't be all that different, can it? Please give me a job anyway."

Uh, yeah, right. THAT will happen.

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