children need their mothers not day care
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children need their mothers not day care
| Tue, 05-27-2003 - 10:31pm |
just want to add my 2 cents... i guess i'm old fashioned, but i firmly believe that a mothers place is with her children, not at work. Kids aren't going to remember the material things, but they will remember having their mom there for them when they were needed. Sorry but I am totally against the day care thing unless its a very last resort. Mothers, do with less and go back to work when your kids are grown.
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As you brought up, many women think about SAH vs WOH for themselves, but I was wondering what I would think about my dd's choice in life. While I prefer my choice to WOH for me, and while I would tell my dd that she can "do and be whatever she choses to be" -- I'm not sure that I'd feel completely comfortable if my dd wanted to be a SAHM. Let me clarify that before I get flames thrown at me. If she's still a kid/teenager and told me that it was her "dream" to be a SAHM and a wife, then I'd try to convince her that she should persue a career . She may not like being a SAHM, being a "wife" should (in my opinion) never be a life ambition for a woman), and she may find herself needing to support herself and her children without her husband. I may feel differently about her wanting to SAH if she were older and had a career.
For me personally, my identity comes from many things, one of which is who I am in my professional life, and I want my dd to have that too (we all do secretly wish for little versions of ourselves, don't we? just kidding. )
Hmmm... I am still not a 100% sure what I'd say to my dd if she wanted to SAH.
I wonder if SAHMs feel differently about this than the WOHMs. What would you want for your daughters?
I'd tell her that wanting to be a SAHM was a wonderful thing to want to be but that life is full of surprises and that she should never put her eggs in one basket. I'd probably also explain my own experiences (as I have been both) and let her know that the only way to truly make a "choice" is to have options from which to choose.
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y husband and I see them about once every 2 weeks and we have the best times together. They're smart, interesting, we share many common interests - cooking, gardening, travel, just not kids. We have a rule, she locks up the dogs when we come over and I lock up the kids when they come over and we're all happy.
Relax people, we don't really lock them up. Well, not technically anyway.
Darn, I guess now I will have to find a new pediatrician, a new ob-gyn, a new mail carrier, a new grocery checkout clerk, a new librarian, a new insurance agent, a new opthamologist, a new bank teller since they will all have to quit their jobs...
That's why I felt so guilty when I SAH (not by choice) when my son was little...I knew I was doing the same thing she did and didn't want him to resent me for it.
He's very money focused, where my attitude is "as long as the basics are covered, the rest is gravy." He wants toys, I want memories.
Our compromise was my WAH and finding other ways to make money. So far its working out fine, and he seems much happier now than before. He's even said that he can't remember why he was so against the idea in the first place.
My point for posting this is that it's interesting to see that different people can react to the same type of situation and get totally different things out of it.
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