children need their mothers not day care

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
children need their mothers not day care
79
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 10:31pm
just want to add my 2 cents... i guess i'm old fashioned, but i firmly believe that a mothers place is with her children, not at work. Kids aren't going to remember the material things, but they will remember having their mom there for them when they were needed. Sorry but I am totally against the day care thing unless its a very last resort. Mothers, do with less and go back to work when your kids are grown.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 12:54pm
We had a case here six years ago where a mother left her 2 young children in the car while she went into a bar and drank. They both died. I can not remember their ages but they were in carseats. Can you imagine? I was pregnant with my first child when that happened and FIL defended her. It made for some tense moments when we were with him. My DH still has not forgiven his father for defending her. He still gets mad when it comes up in the papers (she is appealing).

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 1:25pm
the lady that killed her children is appealing?? WHAT??? you murdered your children while you were drinking, and you want an appeal??? people like that should fry!!! I do remember hearing something about that, dont know if it is the same lady or story or not but sounds familiar.

I am 9 months pregnant and i can not imagine if that happened to me, i wouldnt appeal, i would want to die along with the 2 children i killed. i would not want to live.

things like this and also leaving animals in a car BURN ME UP!!

Re: the father- how do you not know you have a child in the car?? because i dont have my baby with me yet, is it that easy to forget?? genuine question. i mean i can not imagine even if i did change my routine that i would forget about my child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 1:37pm
Well, there are no excuses but you will be surprised what you forget when you are sleep deprived. I locked my keys in the car with my child in the car seat and had to call the police. Thank God it was nighttime.

I also have woken up at 2 in the morning and gone to the crib only to realize he was sleeping in our bed. Those first couple of months are terribly hard-emotionally and physically. They are wonderful too.

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 2:17pm
Who are you to say what they can afford and what they can't afford?? My dh and I make a very good living with the 2 of us working and we have some extras that we probably wouldn't have if only one of us worked. Does that mean he should quit his job?? Because with him working we have a few luxuries?? It's nobody's business.

It's pretty easy to sit in judgement of someone's lifestyle when you're probably leading a pretty cushy existance yourself.

Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 3:49pm
I know that it's been brought up in other threads, but I why do people think that we choose to WOH just for money? It's much more than that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 3:51pm
Just to add to my last post, it it were only about money, then I would be in a job that paid more but were less meaningful to me.
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 6:28pm
I once drove all the way to work with dd in her carseat. DH normally dropped her off. When I got to the end of the street, I turned left as I normally do to go to work instead of right to go to the dc and just went on autopilot until I pulled into a parking space. Scared the bejeebers of me. Before she was born, I had a really long commute and there was more than one occaision when I arrived at work and didn't remember half the trip. You just get into these routines and do what you routinely do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 7:07pm
>>>Re: the father- how do you not know you have a child in the car?? because i dont have my baby with me yet, is it that easy to forget?? genuine question. i mean i can not imagine even if i did change my routine that i would forget about my child.

-------------------------------

My cousin (a firt time mom), told me that when the baby was quite young, she & hubby went on their usual morning run, then to pick up breakfast at the local bread shop (baby in the car). She said they BOTH got in the shop, waiting in line before realizing in HORROR that they had completely forgotten the baby in the car. Fortunately, baby was totally fine, and cousin said it was enough to scare the daylights out of her and DH...needless to say it only happened once.

But, life is complicated & I'd say judge not lest ye be judged.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 12:37am
Yes, subi maybe it is a little old fashioned that "all sahm's are wearing oven mits at 3pm", just like rash feminism is a little old fashioned. After all, it was the baby boomers who decided they could have it all. And since I am from neither the 40's or the 60's, I am stating my opinion, which I might add is the entire purpose of all of this.

I personally would never deny my son my time and attention to "have a lifestyle". This is because number one, I am all he has and number two, I think there are many more important things in life than money beyond what's necessary for comfort. This is me and like it or not thats how it is. The comment was simply stated to note the difference between 3pm and 5pm, so to speak.

Furthermore, I did not leave out women who work for choice, I simply was not addressing that point and since I am seldom politically correct for the sake of being an individual and not conforming to this ridiculous political system I am living in, I will not apologize for that. Did you find something in my post slamming women who work for their own self gratuity? I didn't think so.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 06-14-2003 - 1:40pm
that's funny since in the almost 4 years that i have been posting here, i have seen PLENTY of real debate, LOL! And i would imagine that since she couldn't stick around and support her argument (gotta love one-post wonders!, LOL!) that she too wasn't "debating", right?

Your whole supposition is ludicrous since the vast majority of us don't ATTACK. In fact, the only time that i dig in my heels is when someone tells me that i only work for things, that if i loved my kids i would sah, that i can't be a good mom because i woh....blah, blah, blah. Even then, i wouldn't consider my posting style to be "attacking".

eileen

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