Close relationships

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Close relationships
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Thu, 01-16-2014 - 9:58am

Inspired by the pestering in the monster thread, What is a close relationship to you?  Is there any such thing as being too close?  Are you close to your spouse/so?  Your children?  Your parents?  Your friends?  Is there an ideal image of close..  If so what does that look like? 

I know, Lots of questions...  Play or pass..

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 7:18pm

blackandwhitemolly:

A remodel is not not a little detail if you live in close proximity. I visit my brother's house at least 2 times a month. He live 25mi from me, I'd notice a remod, except in bedrooms or private baths, but I'm sure he'd mention it.

Not sure if you missed my posts but this wasn't even a "remodel". It was just putting in a countertop in the laundry room (which is a small room inbetween the kitchen and garage). Nothing that took too long or affected much (except the washer/dryer were unhooked). 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 01-18-2014 - 8:02am

chestnuthooligan wrote:
<p>blackandwhitemolly:</p><p>A remodel is not not a little detail if you live in close proximity. I visit my brother's house at least 2 times a month. He live 25mi from me, I'd notice a remod, except in bedrooms or private baths, but I'm sure he'd mention it.</p>

So a remodel is an obvious feature when you see him, Would you talk about a remodel if you didn't see it?  My siblings and I are close but we don't talk about the looks of eacothers' homes.  Maybe this is where personality comes in, We talk about family and what's going on with their kids and in their lives.  I am connected with many cousins on facebook, I read, see and like pics of gorgeous remodels and new homes they are having built but I don't consider myself "close" to that extended family. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Sat, 01-18-2014 - 10:51am

Well according to PKA, I am not close to my sibling because I didnt know how her "remodel" as that would something she woukd know about her sibling or family as she is "close" to them. BAER.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Sat, 01-18-2014 - 11:06am

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">chestnuthooligan</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;blackandwhitemolly:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A remodel is not not a little detail if you live in close proximity. I visit my brother's house at least 2 times a month. He live 25mi from me, I'd notice a remod, except in bedrooms or private baths, but I'm sure he'd mention it.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>So a remodel is an obvious feature when you see him, Would you talk about a remodel if you didn't see it?  My siblings and I are close but we don't talk about the looks of eacothers' homes.  Maybe this is where personality comes in, We talk about family and what's going on with their kids and in their lives.  I am connected with many cousins on facebook, I read, see and like pics of gorgeous remodels and new homes they are having built but I don't consider myself "close" to that extended family. </p>

Yes, we would probably talk about a remodel. We would probably talk about contractors, get and give advice. Right now, I'm remodeling the condo I own. My brother usually asks how its going when I see him (very slowly, btw, because our contractor is a friend who is doing it pretty cheaply and it only gets worked on when he doesn't have other projects.We're in no hurry)

My brother and I talk about much more than family, sometimes mundane topics help relieve the stress of worrying about the health of our father.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-18-2014 - 5:09pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">But it's not, knowing that a sibling is remodeling their home is only one detail of someone's life, not every detail.  Why do you think knowing one thing means every thing?</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px"></span><strong><span style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px">Yes, it IS one detail. So why would you think I should know THAT one detail? According to you, you are close to your family so you would. Why would you assume everyone close to their family would? </span></strong></p><p><span style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px">"I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family."</span></p>

This is why I mention that you talk in extremes, you think knowing one single thing = knowing every single thing.  Knowing one detail doesn't mean one knows all details, yet you keep implying that it does, despite being corrected numerous times.

And no, didn't say that becaue you didn't know about the house remodel that you weren't close to your family.   That would be fiction on your part, yet again.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-18-2014 - 5:11pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>Well according to PKA, I am not close to my sibling because I didnt know how her "remodel" as that would something she woukd know about her sibling or family as she is "close" to them. BAER.</p>

Well no, that would be not be true.   

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Sat, 01-18-2014 - 6:53pm

"I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family."

And no, didn't say that becaue you didn't know about the house remodel that you weren't close to your family.   That would be fiction on your part, yet again.

So why say you are sorry that I am not close to my family right after stating that you wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example?

Sure sounds like you would consider that part of being close and didn't think I was because I wasn't.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 8:10am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>Well according to PKA, I am not close to my sibling because I didnt know how her "remodel" as that would something she woukd know about her sibling or family as she is "close" to them. BAER.</p>

I don't debate her but didn't she say a few pages back that she' not close to her sibling?  There you go...

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 8:19am
We haven't had any major projects done in a while but honestly, I don't think I was on the phone talking about it with any sibling when we did and I consider us close. I am reminded of a friend that got a new side by side refrigerator for her kitchen and constantly asked when I would stop by to see it, even encouraging me to get one myself b/c it crushes ice the best way, Lol.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 8:48am

We haven't had any major projects done in a while but honestly, I don't think I was on the phone talking about it with any sibling when we did and I consider us close. I am reminded of a friend that got a new side by side refrigerator for her kitchen and constantly asked when I would stop by to see it, even encouraging me to get one myself b/c it crushes ice the best way, Lol.

Well since this WAS one example PKA claimed SHE would know because she is close to her sibling and then told me she was sorry I was not close to my own, it sure looks like a remodel would be a criteria for being close to a sibling, according to her. 

Once you move on and get married and have kids, homes, jobs, etc, usually the closeness you had as kids changes. That doesnt mean you dont keep in touch with them, do things with them or know what might be going on in their life but it is not the same as living with them everyday. I dont think it should be either. 

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