Close relationships

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Close relationships
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Thu, 01-16-2014 - 9:58am

Inspired by the pestering in the monster thread, What is a close relationship to you?  Is there any such thing as being too close?  Are you close to your spouse/so?  Your children?  Your parents?  Your friends?  Is there an ideal image of close..  If so what does that look like? 

I know, Lots of questions...  Play or pass..

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 8:51am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>Well according to PKA, I am not close to my sibling because I didnt know how her "remodel" as that would something she woukd know about her sibling or family as she is "close" to them. BAER.</p>

I don't debate her but didn't she say a few pages back that she' not close to her sibling?  There you go...

Yep:

I think relationships go through phases too, there have been times when I haven't been as close to my sibling as before and times when I have been closer.  

I wonder if she knew about any remodels then lol.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 12:09pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
We haven't had any major projects done in a while but honestly, I don't think I was on the phone talking about it with any sibling when we did and I consider us close. I am reminded of a friend that got a new side by side refrigerator for her kitchen and constantly asked when I would stop by to see it, even encouraging me to get one myself b/c it crushes ice the best way, Lol.

That must have been quite some time ago; side by sides are fairly passe these days, aren't they?  I thought the French door fridges were all the rage now.  (I dunno; I went with a side by side because I like having both fridge space and freezer space at eye level for those things I use most.)  I don't recall inviting anyone over to admire it, tho I'll admit to petting it from time to time--when no one's looking :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 12:13pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
Once you move on and get married and have kids, homes, jobs, etc, usually the closeness you had as kids changes. That doesnt mean you dont keep in touch with them, do things with them or know what might be going on in their life but it is not the same as living with them everyday. I dont think it should be either. </p>

And do you feel qualified to speak for all siblings groups?  Because the above quote doesn't seem to suggest that any variation of closeness counts.  For instance, I've never been to my oldest sister's home; but she and I post together on FB almost daily and when we have remodeling jobs ongoing, we send each other pictures and videos of the process.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 12:59pm

That must have been quite some time ago; side by sides are fairly passe these days, aren't they?  I thought the French door fridges were all the rage now.  (I dunno; I went with a side by side because I like having both fridge space and freezer space at eye level for those things I use most.)  I don't recall inviting anyone over to admire it, tho I'll admit to petting it from time to time--when no one's looking :)</p>[/quote]

I have the french door freezer on the bottom and I love it.  It was not my first choice DH talked me into it.  The only down side is since I am so short I cannot reach anything that is pushed to the back on the upper left shelf.  But not a big deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 1:03pm

And do you feel qualified to speak for all siblings groups?  

Nope and that is why I dont understand why PKA has done so with my sibling and myself's situation.

Because the above quote doesn't seem to suggest that any variation of closeness counts.  For instance, I've never been to my oldest sister's home; but she and I post together on FB almost daily and when we have remodeling jobs ongoing, we send each other pictures and videos of the process.

That's great. Some people are not like that. I am not sure what the problem is with that or why if you dont know this, you are not close to your sibling, as PKA has apologized to me for not being close to my sibling. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 3:23pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px">"I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family."</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">And no, didn't say that becaue you didn't know about the house remodel that you weren't close to your family.   That would be fiction on your part, yet again.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">So why say you are sorry that I am not close to my family right after stating that you </span><span style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px">wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example?</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px">Sure sounds like you would consider that part of being close and didn't think I was because I wasn't.</span></strong></p>

No, I said that because you wouldn't answer a simple question, for some reason you needed to know my personal definition in order to answer a question about your personal life.  It's a simple question that should have been easily answered without a ton of posts on the subject.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 3:25pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Well according to PKA, I am not close to my sibling because I didnt know how her "remodel" as that would something she woukd know about her sibling or family as she is "close" to them. BAER.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I don't debate her but didn't she say a few pages back that she' not close to her sibling?  There you go...</p>

No jams, I didn't say that, I said there have been phases where I haven't been "as close" and there have been times when we "were closer", that doesn't say (well if one is reading what is written) that I wasn't close to my sibling. 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 3:28pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<div style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div></div></div><div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><div><div><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Well according to PKA, I am not close to my sibling because I didnt know how her "remodel" as that would something she woukd know about her sibling or family as she is "close" to them. BAER.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>I don't debate her but didn't she say a few pages back that she' not close to her sibling?  There you go...</p></div></div></div></div><p>Yep:</p><p><span>I think relationships go through phases too, there have been times when I haven't been as close to my sibling as before and times when I have been closer.  </span></p><p><span>I wonder if she knew about any remodels then lol.</span></p><p><span><br /></span></p>

I don't know if I'm surprised or not that both of you read that comments as not being close to a sibling, you know...since that isn't what it says at all.  LoL 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 3:30pm

grapthars_hammer wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>We haven't had any major projects done in a while but honestly, I don't think I was on the phone talking about it with any sibling when we did and I consider us close. I am reminded of a friend that got a new side by side refrigerator for her kitchen and constantly asked when I would stop by to see it, even encouraging me to get one myself b/c it crushes ice the best way, Lol.</blockquote></p><p>That must have been quite some time ago; side by sides are fairly passe these days, aren't they?  I thought the French door fridges were all the rage now.  (I dunno; I went with a side by side because I like having both fridge space and freezer space at eye level for those things I use most.)  I don't recall inviting anyone over to admire it, tho I'll admit to petting it from time to time--when no one's looking :)</p>

I love my french door with the freezer on the bottom!

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-19-2014 - 3:31pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>And do you feel qualified to speak for all siblings groups?  </span></p><p><span>Nope and that is why I dont understand why PKA has done so with my sibling and myself's situation.</span></p><p><span></span><span>Because the above quote doesn't seem to suggest that any variation of closeness counts.  For instance, I've never been to my oldest sister's home; but she and I post together on FB almost daily and when we have remodeling jobs ongoing, we send each other pictures and videos of the process.</span></p><p>That's great. Some people are not like that. I am not sure what the problem is with that or why if you dont know this, you are not close to your sibling, as PKA has apologized to me for not being close to my sibling. </p>

That wasn't an apology, that was sympathy.  You know as you often do when you say your sorry for xyz in many threads.

PumpkinAngel

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